A
male
age
51-59,
*oey32
writes: My partner of 15 years who I love and very much do everything for like a 50's house wife treats me like shi.... I am in my late 30's and he is in his 60's. When I ended up in Sept this year having a brake down and I had to live on our boat for awhile to write and think about our relationship because I don't have my own space at home to go to. You see when I was on the boat I had internet access and went to a few sites my partner had joined and checked them out. I could tell he was on them everyday. One of the porn sites is Daddyhunt were you meet other men just for sex.I have caught him before doing this in the past he just brushes it off and said he was just playing. But when I go to this one porn site (and he does not no its me) he is asking for pics and to hook up for sex! On our 15th he wouldn't even make love to me. He told me he was tired and that it was a bad time. That hurt me because I no he was on these porn sites everyday having sex or masterbating . And these guys look like me! I told him before that if you want to look at porn that's fine but when you start emailing them there is a problem. But he still does it!He can say the meanest things about me or while I'm in the room with friends he will came out and blame me for stuff I never did. And really lay it into me! When I get upset and call him on it he will say "Oh I was joking" or "that behavor stems from something in your past". When in fact it was me having enough of his crap.And this week he has asked me to file bankruptcy. I am just stressed by this and I asked him why my credit cards are so high?... When he was to be making sure this wouldn't happen to my finances? His response is "Oh its not a big thing to go Bankrupt!" He has stopped all payments on my cards!I need some advise soon!
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male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (4 December 2008):
 He is making you very unhappy and from your post it looks like that he won't change!. I think you should end this relationship for your well being even if it is hard. In the long run when you take distance you will see it was the right thing to do. You should really end this relationship because it seems that he does not respect you at all. He is also seems difficult to reason with. Take care!
A
male
reader, Joey32 +, writes (4 December 2008):
Joey32 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo my childhood was great and my father was a great gent! I can from a very loving home with great parents. And yes I dated women and I have a 25 yr old son who is just the best thing in my life. I feel so much better reading the support and feed back from you all. Thank you again I no I can make it through this. smiling here!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): wow, this is a toxic relationship. It almost sounds like how an abusive father treats a son. (did you have a hard childhood with your father--trying to gain his love?) You sound very miserable and unhappy. Life is too short to be treated like dirt, and I don't think he's capable of love if he's cheating with complete strangers. And now he is ruining your credit rating and thinks it's no big deal? Well IT IS a big deal. It's unacceptable, especially when you deserve so much better. I think you should take the 1st step to gain some independence from him. You can do it. I can tell you take pride in what you do. Search your soul for what your gifts/talents are...work your passion and the treasure will follow. Besides, if he's filing for bankruptcy, how much longer before he's completely broke? and he's probably taking his anger at this on You. This burns me up because a man like you is easy to love. Have you ever liked being with a woman? oops, I probably shouldn't have said that :) Well, I hope you take our advice and free yourself from this misery. I think you need someone to talk to through this too. Do you have a trusted sibling or friend to share your feelings/concerns, they can help you clear your mind... If you do, you'll be less likely to 'go back' to him (and his mental anguish) well, take care and remember You are Worth Loving! (the real way:)
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reader, Joey32 +, writes (4 December 2008):
Joey32 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your advise! I'm am working on a plan to leave him and take control of my life again. He is being really nice today to me. I don't beleave its true...
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A
female
reader, blackroses2989  +, writes (4 December 2008):
 Excuse my language but DUMP HIS ASS! He has no right to treat you like this after being with you for 15 yrs, or at all as a matter of fact. He should take care of you as you take care of him, plain and simple. A marriage or partnership means you are a team you do things for eachother because you love them not because you feel obligated to, but in your case I dont think he really cares at all!!! This angers me so much, you can do so much better you need to find someone that will treat you like a king or queen for the rest of your life and vice versa. You know my boyfriend and I fight too, sometimes I feel like I do everything for him and he doesnt appreciate it, but at the same time i know he does. He tells me he doesnt always show it but he always loves me and he does always try to make it up to me, whether its taking me out or simply just helping clean the house, or making me a meal. He always tries and makes an effort. And thats what people that love each other do for each other and its very much what you need. I know 15 years of being with someone is a hard thing to break up, but you deserve sooooo much better. I must stress that you know that. AND DO NOT LET HIM HAVE ANY ACCESS TO YOUR CREDIT CARDS!!!! The best of luck honey, I'm so sorry, but I know you will find someone that will love you more thn your current partner ever could.
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (4 December 2008):
 If you only have a boat to go to to get away from him, i would just get on it and sail away. Sorry to be blunt but he sounds like he has other interests now and you are paying the price for it all. You don't deserve to be a doormat any longer. good luck. hope this helps.
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