A
female
age
41-50,
*aryjane88
writes:Hi,Over 12 years ago, as a teen, i was with the man whom i now know was my soul mate. He was very much in love with me and we were together for 2 years then off and on for 1 year after. I left the country and moved away. I was younger than him and didn't really know myself. I have always thought of him and tried to find him on several occasions but with no luck until 2 weeks ago. I was journeying to where I had an idea he was living and took another chance at looking him up, i found him. I emailed and we decided to meet. When we saw each other, it was such an intense connection, i couldn;t stop thinking about him. I emailed him when i got home and we were both absolutely buzzing. Then he said he is married. I didn't know what to say. I knew he had a child because i met him, they both came to see me. I had an immediate connection with his boy, it is really beautiful connection. His child is not to his wife now. I have expressed my feelings to him and he to me, and while i am devastated that he is married, i don't want to ruin or interfere in any way. But he says he wants to be with me and he's not sure if it's because he is having problems with his wife or not or because he still loves me. I question why he made the long drive out to see me, and with his child too... I truly think he feels the same and has never stopped loving me either. He is having some time to think and so am I. This is crazy.. It feels so right that we be together, it just feels so absolutely natural. What can I do?
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female
reader, maryjane88 +, writes (3 October 2009):
maryjane88 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. I couldn't bare the thought of coming between two people. If he leaves his wife it should be because he does not have feelings for her any longer, not because of his feelings for me. In the long run it is best to be honest now but that's not up to me to disclose. I care for him as a friend too and would only want the best for him no matter his decision. It's a hard one.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2009): Obviously this was your first love. We never really get over our first love. Unfortunately, yours is married. I can give you much credit for not allowing your feelings to overcloud your judgment and get involved in an affair. Believe me honey, you don't want put yourself in that situation. Just read some of these post on here. You seem to be an upstanding woman, you know what is right. It most definitely won't be what you want to do it will be what is best. Best of luck to you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 October 2009):
Good girl for not giving in yet. If this guy wants you, he'll leave his wife and be with you. Simple as that. If he doesn't leave his wife, don't give him another though, because it will mean he's using you. You can't do a thing until he leaves his wife.
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