A
male
age
36-40,
*hickenMan22
writes:So I have a list of issues and I do not deny I need therapy but I am here to vent something...I would love the comments and the advice but I'm not really asking for it, I am but im not. I want guidance but I know what to do I'm educated intelligent and I know some councling would help and I know right from wrong....I want to tell my story so here it goes....Why I am insane and now have trust issues...I'll start my story saying the before the story began I was a virgin, I was always a good decent guy with a strong moral fiber and I became a preacher I went to a 4year college of bible and obtained a degree in bible studies..I didn't stop there I also continued my degree while preaching and got my counseling degree and another degree in human development. I preached for a good while and then I was lonely.....I needed someone in my life to fill a void that nothing else in my life was filling...and so here's how this happened.I met a girl I really liked ....this is the story of my ex gf.........when I met her she just got out of a relationship with her ex bf she was with the guy for 3 years before meeting me.......me and her went to the movies had a great time and instantly clicked ....we dated for an entire month and a day before valentines day one year after I already made plans and set up a expensive hotel room and bought her a life-size bear and candy and roses ....a day before that special day when I was suppose to make love to her for the 1st time, she broke up with me because her ex wanted her back and she still loved him which made since they were together for 3 years before she met me and we were only together a month.....I was very hurt thou and I canceled the reservation and took her gifts back..........a few weeks went by and she begged me to stay her friend that she didn't want me out of her life and I refused at 1st but then decided I'd stay friends with her (bad move) .......we then ended up meeting up for lunch one night without her boyfriend knowing and we ended up having sex and I felt like the worse person in the world for allowing her to cheat on her boyfriend with me, and we parted agreeing to end this and not ever let it happen again.......well umm we ended up having a 8 month affair .........we fought big time I hatted her for not respecting me for loving him over me and not leaving him for me and giving me that respect ......I hated myself for hurting the guy he was innocent and wasnt a bad guy.......he ended up finding out we slept together one time and broke up with her......she hatted me because she blamed me for her realationship ruining I hatted myself and that's when I stopped preaching and never had a good realationship with the church since then...I felt God was disappointed in me .....eventually as time went by she changed her number I met someone else and dated her for like 6 months and that short realationship is a crazy ass story on its own but i wont go into that.... then she came back to my life we datted for almost a year I almost proposed I bought her a beautiful ring and everything and she ended up telling me she doesn't feel it anymore and wants to break up, then a week later I found out she spent the night with a guy while me and her were still together and that's that story........ my worst moment was when I let a girl cheat on her boyfirrnsd and that's what tore me away from my God :( So i used the Refund money from the ring I bought her and bought a Xbox 360 alot of games and a shit load of hotwings and then became a man whore for awhile....I went from virgin preacher to manwhore, and everytime I got close to a girl I always thought she was doing something behind my back and I developed a stigma a trust issue beyond what u would consider normal....I mean yes I kinda got stockerish.....Well I ended up finding this super sweet girl in nurseing school that I fell in love with. We've been datting for a year and a half and were engaged now and a baby is on the way......I caught her talking to another guy once on her cell when we 1st started going out which spawned my crazy stockerish issue and I started to monitor her cell her Internet accounts and I went crazy (yes I know invasion of privacy is wrong but like I said I don't deny therapy would help me) anyway real quick I have to ask??Is there a such thing as a girl who loves you and only you and is faithful 100% all the way throu the realationship? Do all girls lie and don't mean what they say? Cause I am not without experience and every girl I know will fuck u over behind ur back without u knowing it.....are they all like that? Can anyone be trusted anymore? Just asking anyway continuing......So we're about to get married i love her and I don't stock her anymore we worked out our shit and we have a baby on the way.... We have intamacy issues and don't have sex but maybe once a month and she's always been that way except when we first met.....And it's cool that our sex drives are diffrent but it's hard because me and my ex kinda went at it like rabbits and now I don't get any release anymore and it's frustrating and it is causing me some issues......So random venting ...we are fighting all the time now ....I have been getting us some overtime because I feel we need it, we have bills and a baby on the way so for the last 2 weeks i have worked from 8am-10pm Monday -Saturday and I take Sunday to rest......i work those long hard hours for her...I know she is in her 1st trimester she's tired from working 11 hour days herself and she's preganant, I love her and I try to make things easy on her....She's always gripping at me about wedding arrangements and I try to express in a very nice way how we don't have the intamacy in this realationship that we need.....this morning is what spawned the venting and I'll tell you about it...I was sound asleep and she yells at me to tell me that I need to do something about my teeth grinding she's been up all night (I grind my teeth in my sleep apparently and I've done it my whole life and I don't know I do it cuz I'm asleep) but she woke me up at 5am to tell me that when I have to et up and get ready to go at 6:30 am...I just turned over and said sorry baby I can't help it....she then started complaining about how she now has a headach, I was like umm sweetie I have to leave soon and I need sleep....she then gripped at me for waking her up last night ..Yeah so get this....she works in the medical field and has to be up at 5am she gets to work about 5:45 and works til 4:30 most days .....I am working 14hours and I get up at 8 and work til 10pm when I get home she's asleep because she has to be up at 5am the next morning....so when do I ever see her?? I don't ......so when I get home I simply walk into our bedroom give her a kiss tell her I love her then walk to the living room fix me a snack and winnd down and get sleepy then I go to bed myself.She is mad because i wake her to tell her hi when I get home!! Wow when do I ever see her!!!??? And umm when we do have weekends to ourself we don't have sex and that hurts cuz I miss her and it's a part of me..So I did somthing stupid the other night out of my loneliness I texted my ex the one I told y'all about earlier...she was glad to hear from me and wanted to see me on the DL sometime...well I may have been dumb to text my ex cuz I know that would hurt my finacee if she knew about it but I'm not a cheater so I declined my ex invite. We did catch up on old times on the phone and it was wrong of me....and I am not trying to excuse my actions but damn I'm lonley within my own home!! So anyway I guess I'm done venting....I know it's long u don't have to read it all. So heres the question to this long post.......should I commit myself or perhaps hide under a rock? I am losing it
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affair, broke up, engaged, ex girlfriend, fell in love, her ex, money, my ex, sex drive, text, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (28 January 2012):
 We all need to vent once in a while.
About the questions you asked earlier, questions about whether or not good women exist. Many women ask the same about men and the answer is always the same. Of course there are good people out there, you just have to look. So maybe you just didn't look in the right places before, but now you have someone. If you need to, I suggest you sit down with her and talk about it. Let her talk to you, listen to how she feels and ask her to do the same for you.
Try to remain a man of morals. Much of faith is having the patience to see things through, the patience and will to stand firm through the bitter moments in life. Be patient with your pregnant fiancee, your purpose is to support her now. Marriage is about commitment, you have to prove to yourself that you are ready to commit and that means standing with her.
Find a way to relax yourself, ease your stress. A lot of the time, people who grind their teeth at night are overly stressed. So definitely sit down and talk to her. Try to keep things calm and if that discussion turns sour, just stop and breathe.
I hope that helps.
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