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MY LDR met her new guy while she was still with me

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Dating, Long distance, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 October 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 October 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Me ex girlfriend and I have recently broken up we were in a LDR and I was happy throughout that whole time. However one day she decided to end things and about 2 weeks later I found out that she started to date this guy only a few days after she had ended things with me. She had met this guy while she was still involved with me. Suffice to say I'm heartbroken. My feelings for her are very strong and still very strong, I was one day planning on marrying her. I was just wondering is it a good idea if I went to where she lives and just showed how much I loved her?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (1 October 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt I am afraid not. Sure, it's a very romantic gesture and she may be flattered, but what's the point of stroking her ego.

She broke up with you and took up with another guy few days after leaving you. Plus, she had met the new guy while she was still with you and, even if she did not cheat on you, she must have started having feelings for him, or at least getting interested, while she was still in a relationship with you. That means probably that the relationship had run its course and she had already started distancing herself emotionally from you. She was not all yours anymore ...even BEFORE meeting the new guy.

I know you might be sort of shocked because you never saw it coming. The truth is, we only see and hear what we want to see and hear ; we deliberately became unreceptive to any vibe of unrest or discontent the other person sends.

Very very seldom in life things happen with the suddenness of a lightbolt- most of the times it's just a build up , one little thing after the other,...till the breaking point.

Which, I know, is no comfort to you. Just to say that if I were you I'd save my energies for healing and recovering

from this disappointment, rather than for travelling on a " love mission " with a very doubtful outcome.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (1 October 2010):

Honeygirl agony auntSorry about what you are going through, but to be honest, I think you would be wasting your time and making a fool of yourself.

She has moved on with her life, I suggest that you do the same.

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