A
female
age
41-50,
*nnaSfx
writes:I'm 28 years old and during the past 10 years I've never been single... until now. In August I broke up with my boyfriend, with whom I had gone out for 2 years. I made the decision because I fell for someone else. The thing is, this guy lives very far away and, naturally, the relationship could not be sustained through time. We attempted to have a long-distance relationship for about 3 months. But when he changed jobs, he suddenly started to be unavailable and busier than usual, and the contact became increasingly less frequent. So, after crying and feeling miserable, I came to accept that things between us were not meant to be, at least in the distance. I don't know, I've tried reading self-help sites and books, talking it over with my analyst, but nothing seems to work. Sadly, I'm starting to believe that my life has no sense without a man by my side. I've got lots of friends and my family are very supportive. Some tell me it's because I've got low self-esteem, others that I don't know what I want, and others that I lack a father figure. Frankly, I agree with them all, but I don't know what to do to get this guy out of my head and move on with my life. I have had other guys interested in me in the past few months, but none of them seems to make me as excited as my foreign lover. AghhKisses! Anna
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 November 2009):
 Anna, it will go away over time. What you need to do is sit one afternoon and analyze things as you would if you were not personally involved. You will eventually realize that the relationship is over and you can't revive it. You will also notice that it doesn't make any sense to suffer endlessly over it. I understand your pain, but it must not last forever.
Be careful on one point. Your life does make sense without a man by your side. This is a lesson that all women need to learn. In fact, everyone needs to learn that their individual lives are possible without a partner, lover, whatever. You need to live for yourself first, and only then will you be able to really be a couple with someone else.
Take care. You're so young and you have a long life ahead of you. If the man couldn't sustain the relationship for three months, then he wasn't worth it.
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