A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My 3 kids of ages 11, 9 and 6 are always fighting among themselves. I being the father have a little control. I mean when I am home they take notice of me, but for the mother they dont seem to listen her. I always ask them to behave but in worst cases I find myself shouting over them. My wife does not like my shouting or scaring the kids. She is not bothered the kids are going (in a wrong direction). The kids dont really obey specially in my absence. I always want them to obey the mother, who is with them the whole day. I want my kids to be like the rest of the decent family. I dont want anyone should point out my kids are misbehving. Bottomline is my wife is not coperating with the teachings, a mother should do or atleast let me do the job. Sometimes she is herself very much upset on their behavior, but do not really try to make them understand, what wrong they are doing. 1. Like they run around the guest in the lounge.2. Do not pack up things after they have stopped studying or playing. 3. Quarel on petty issues. 4. Do not eat enough as they should be doing.5. Do not listen to even the fifth call of their mother.6. Do not remember the things I have told them a thousand times, they must not do ( things that can harm them)Am I getting too much on their nerves and my wive's nerves. Me and my wife have several fights over this in a week. Please help. worried father..... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, blazee  +, writes (20 October 2007):
 hi, dont worry about it all ids are like this=]
just remember why you wanted them andh old in there, eventually, when there older you wont want to let them go so engoy the time where there every wish and responsibility revolves around you, your gonna miss it in a couple if years;)
the eldest of your children will be growing up very soon, thats when you have to be there for them. teenage years are very hard for a parent. so good luck, and remember that you should engoy it, even in there causing havoc;)
once one goes, you wont want the others two,
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007): Hi, sorry i am rubbish with flags, so which country do you come from? Kids can be so disruptive. Try not to let them come between the two of you. Always have a united front when it comes to the kids, have some set rules and try and stick to them. They should have a set bed time, if not, then make a one, and now!
Have a chart in the kitchen, each child has a chore to do and gets stars and rewards. I know this will sound rubbish to some people but it has worked for me in the past. If they misbehave then take things away from them. If they have a game station then remove their favourite game until you get some cooperation. Dont let them watch tv etc. The list is endless, but you must gain control over them between the two of you. Dont leave it up to your wife, she is not the sole parent. No the wonder you fall out, she needs your backing and assistance.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007): Young kids are usually like that, soon enough they will mature. Try a system like if they dont listen to you they have to sit in the corner, or dont get dessert. Take away their privaliges.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (20 October 2007):
 This is very difficult when dealing with children. First their mother needs to understand, you're not raising children, you're raising adults. What you do now determines who they become when they grow up. Next you need to establish order. I find the best way to do this is to involve the kids in the decision making. Sit down, have a family meeting, work with them in establishing the rules of the house, and the punishments that follow by violating the rules. This way they feel as if they are part of the family, instead of just being kids. They'll realize this is a family unit, and everyone has responsibility being part of the family. You'll find kids love helping with decision making, that way if they violate the rules, they violate ones they themselves helped in setting so they take more ownership toward doing go.
That works for the kids, now your lovely wife. When doing this she needs to agree as well that when these rules are broken, that she will enforce them all the time, and not just when you're home.
I also with every violation, they have to sit down with me and discuss what it was they violated, why they feel what they did was wrong, and what we can do to prevent further violations.
I hope this helps you.
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