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writes: I started going out with a girl from uni in 2004, everything was great, we were the best of friends, we went out and spent time with each other and just things a normal couple would do.Then one day, while I was at uni, I received a call from an old manager asking if I wanted some casual work.Being a poor uni student and the thought of casual work being graveyard shift, I thought it was the best thing that could have happened to me.Everything seemed fine at the start, I was enthusiastic about earning much needed money and studying at the same time.Slowly over time, I attended uni less and devoted myself to full-time graveyard shift.The work was heavy manual lifting and sorting, so during the day I grew more and more tired.I started ignoring all my friends (just through being too tired to talk), most importantly I started ignoring my girlfriend.Everytime she called or left me a message, I'd practically ignore her (and other friends) because I just couldn't be bothered.To cut the story short, I found her (and everyone who tried to talk to me) quite annoying and I asked for advice from my work colleagues, I realise now that I presented a VERY one sided story about how he was really nagging.I took the advice to break up the relationship and at the time I thought I had done everyone a favor, especially her!I want to point out that she was always supportive & loyal even to the day I broke up with her.Almost a year on, I have a new job, which is far less physically demanding and I've had the time to think things over, spoke to a new female colleague and discovered I had in fact cut her off and ignored her, which is why it seemed like she was nagging me.I finally caught up with her last night (online) and I asked her to listen to what I had to say, I practically spilled out all that had happened since we were together until now, and that I realised that she was the most devoted person, asking for nothing, giving everything.I have since learned that she is beginning a new relationship, I wished her well and hoped that we could remain good friends, which she agreed to, saying that she never hated me (and was hopeful that I only needed a temporary break fro our relationship).Of course after hearing that she found a new friend, I was devastated, I wished her all the best for her future and ask that she would just keep in contact as good friends.Obviously I felt regret for letting her go and wanted to make the relationship work again, but I don't want to ruin a new opportunity for her.Now that I have realised how much I had hurt her feelings, I no longer want to begin a new relationship with anyone else but her.I asked her to forgive me, and throughout the entire conversation we had, she only mentioned that she didn't hate me and that it she got over it.My question is, what should I do?I'm sorry for making this so long, but I need to explain everything.
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reader, Caribgal +, writes (9 June 2005):
You never realize what you had until it's gone right? I understand that you want her back but you can't have her. She has a man now. You waited too late. Sometimes in life we do dumb things but we gatta move on.
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (9 June 2005):
 I understand your hard work and going to school and all. But how many other people do the exact same thing in this world? I do not think you should bother this ex-girlfriend of yours. Why? Because when you find yourself in stressful situations you alienate yourself instead of reaching out. Sooner or later, stress will show it's ugly face (it's life) again and how does she know that you won't push her out of your life again? Yes, leave her be.
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reader, rabbit +, writes (8 June 2005):
I'm sorry for making extra posts, but I felt that I need to clarify some points.In the paragraph:"I have since learned that she is beginning a new relationship, I wished her well and hoped that we could remain good friends, which she agreed to, saying that she never hated me (and was hopeful that I only needed a temporary break fro our relationship)."I wish to clariy the part relating to her never hating me; she told me that when I broke up with her, SHE was hopeful that I only needed a temporary break in our relationship TO SORT OUT MY WORK AND REST SCHEDULE)I understand that I am fully responsible for all that has happened, and I won't hide at all if anyone out there wishes to abuse me for what I have done.I would like to point out that during the entire breakup and all the way up until now, I never once questioned my decision being wrong. It was only after that I spoke to my new work mate that I realised that I had wronged my ex greatly. As I typed out my story, I started crying, and have been sobbing randomly since 6am (it is now 1:40pm).I would like to add to my question:1. What should I do? At this point in time I am quite willing to give her at least the same amount of time she gave me.2. I would REALLY like a FEMALE perspective on this; if this was your situation, would you take me back or would you leave me to rot like the scum that I am?[I am crying again as I type out these questions].3. Obviously she cannot see the personal torment that I am in, but how can I prove to her that my feelings are 100% genuine and that I want to be that 100% loving,devoted & loyal boyfriend that I once was.
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