A
female
age
51-59,
*usieQ1970
writes:My ex has lied and cheated to me, his ex girlfriend and his family over a number of issues and refuses to take responsibility for his actions. I am appalled by his behaviour and decided to at least let his ex girlfriend know the truth.Despite the way he has treated me I was resolved to put it all behind me and move on for the sake of the child we have. He on the other hand will not do this because of the one thing I did. He is using our child as a means of getting to me, we had an agreement to spend time together with our child. Initially he wanted to forget the whole thing but we had a chat on Saturday about it. He had also seen his ex on the Wednesday before, told her it was all over between them and she had asked if they could meet again in a month to review the situation. When we met on Saturday he asked if we could review the situation in six weeks and I said that he should offer me the same as his ex and make it a month, afterall this was about our child I felt that at least should make it a priority. Basically the upshot is he feels uncomfortable in my company.He is renovating a house near where I live and I drive past it often, if our child sees his car he wants to go visit so I asked my ex to park elsewhere. He hasn't done this and has said he is happy for me to pop in with our child. Surely this is contrary to him saying that he is uncomfortable in my company? We also used to collect our child together from Nursery on the night he stays with his Dad and my ex wanted to start collecting him early so I agreed to this. I came home from work last night to find his car parked outside the old house and he hadn't collected our child early at all! If he doesn't want me to even collect our child together I just wish he could be honest and let me know.I called in to see him and ask him what was going on and he really didn't want to talk to me. These are issues concerning our child and if he can't/won't talk to me I'm beginning to wonder if he ever will. This inability to talk is just an extension of our relationship problems but this time it concerns the precious life of our child.I truly believe that spending time together with our child is beneficial to him but I feel it can't really work because of my ex's inability to be honest and truthful. I have to make the choice to either pursue this or just call it a day and leave my ex to his agreed access and forget about spending time together. I don't want to let my child down but I equally don't want to see him get hurt either if his father and I can not resolve our issues.What do I do?
View related questions:
ex girlfriend, his ex, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (4 July 2007):
 He needs to stop using your child. It isn't fair and will end up messing the child up in the long run. He needs to start taking responsibility for what is going on. Ok if he doesn't feel comfortable in your company then maybe you two should spend a little less time together. But he needs to continue contact with his child. Your child can't go through being told daddy is picking you up early today to be left dissappointed because daddy doesn't bother.
When my mum and dad first separated they couldn't spend any period of time together so they didn't. To make it easier on us kids. And now they get on ok. You need to make your ex understand he can't play around with your kids emotions because even little kids pick things up.
Talk to your ex and give him one more chance, if you personally feel he deserves it. After that if his behaviour continues I would seriously think about giving up the joint time together. Your child's feelings come first and if you think his daddy is hurting him by his actions then it has to stop!
xxxxxxxxxxx
|
