A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What do you think an ex boyfriend wants when he stays in contact with you for over a year since you broke up (his choice) say once a month just saying hi. Then in the last month he has been texting nearly every day and apologising again for his behaviour and saying things like how he made so many mistakes regarding me and how I am amazing and that he feels lucky that i still talk to him. I dont get what he wants contacting me so much, and am scared to ask outright as I dont want to feel rejected again if he turns around and says he's just being friendly or is just seeing if he can get a fling out of me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007): hey sweetie I'm going through the same thing with my ex. He's got feelings for you. No doubt about it. You guys will never be able to be just "friends" because you simply don't see eachother that way...you see eachother as boyfriend and girlfriend. I was going to marry my ex boyfriend and we talked about marriage everyday. We broke up 9 months ago and he still keeps contact with me everyonce in awhile he'll pop up out of nowhere. We have even dated other people...but I still love him. And I feel as though he still loves me. He is keeping contact with you because he wants you in his life....he can see himself being with you in the future. If he thought he had found better or could find better....he wouldn't be around still. Guys don't stick if they don't want to...its a choice...and its based on how they feel about you. Even if he didnt treat you right....it doesn't change the fact that those feelings existed. I hope I helped. Just hang in there and contiune to talk...he'll make the move...just wait...he hasn't done anything yet in fear that you may be over him...he doesn't want to be rejected...just hang in there.=)
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (22 June 2007):
 It would be wise to stop answering his e-mails, and when he calls don't answer the phone. He'll eventually get the hint. Of you could just come out and tell him to get a life and stop contacting you. If you don't, you will never be able to move on with your life and someday you are going to meet someone (if you haven't already) and they will not understand what's going on between the two of you. Men like this never appreciate a women when they have her, and once she's gone they can't let go. You will have to be the one to let go this time. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, cockneybabe +, writes (22 June 2007):
 wow reading that would just be like what im going through now, after god knows how many months he contacted me(he split up with me, broke my heart) we are meeting up soon and Im just going with an open mind.
I suggest like the others have, ask him to met up and like me go with an open mind, dont expect anything at all, dont ask him about what he has been up to ie new g/f make out as if your life is great, good luck and let us know, im crapping myself about seeing mine after all these months apart
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2007): You know what?? your problem caught my eye because my ex after two year however still calls me. I rejected him so many times so he will get the hint. Like for example, when he calls dont answer, or let him say whatever he needs to say and then tell him okay well have to go now. I would assume that he would get the hint....wrong after a month or so he calls me again.. But see I dont know if you still want to talk to him but dont want to give him the wrong idea or dont want anything to do with him like myself???? So just informing you that you not alone with this problem. I know i didnt help you but like i said just letting you know. ok well goodluck and take care
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A
female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (27 May 2007):
 hmmm, yes i would feel a bit shy asking if he wants to date again,but do you still like him in that way? if so then when he rings you next,just say that "why dont we meet up? we havnt seen eachother in ages and it would be lovely to catch up"
he either says yes or no, so go on.........
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.
ill keep my fingers crossed for you.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, sunrise +, writes (27 May 2007):
 I think he still cares for you and regrets hurting you, i dont know if he wants the chance to make things up to you or whether he feels guilty and wants to know that you have forgiven him.
Why dont you ask him if he'd like to meet up for a drink sometime, (do it by text if you cant bear the risk of rejection face to face) if he says no you'll know he's not after going down that road, and if he says yes, then meet him and see what happens.
The balls in your court to solve the mystery of his motives, you've nothing to lose but everything to gain if you want him back.
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A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (27 May 2007):
 From what you wrote it sounds as though your ex still has feelings for you.
It might just be that he misses spending time with you and regrets your break up.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (27 May 2007):
 It sounds like he's still in love with you. A thing about guys, is that they hate apologizing. When they do it over and over in a small amount of time, they genuinely mean it.
DV1
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (27 May 2007):
 It is possible that he is (1) sounding you out for round 2, (2) trying to see if you'd like to have a fling, (3) genuinely wanting your friendship alone. How you react depends a lot on how the relationship was last year and how it ended. Was someone in the wrong or did it just not work out?
For your own health, make the assumption that he's working for (3) and keep moving on with your life. If he wants more than that, he needs to work on it -- which means leveling with you. Don't hope for any more than just being friends, and you won't be disappointed.
Don't for any reason settle for (2). If it's (1) then make him prove to you that he'll be there and he'll treat you well before you jump back into bed. It sounds like your heart is still on the line here, so you need to be careful.
On the other hand, you might just ask him outright... that can't be any worse than not knowing, can it?
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