A
female
age
51-59,
*ainbow1
writes:HiyaI have a question for youI met a guy online (as so many of us do) When i finally met him the first thing was the picture was not of him. He had put another face on of a handsome guy as he himself is not at all attractive. Looks are not imporant to me and he did say if he had put his own pic up i wld not of met him. Anyway I have been seeing him for over two years when i want. He would text me lots and ring and ask when could he see me again but never actaully ask to take me out.About 7 months ago i knew he was lying about things. He said he owned a companya nd the house he lives in when it turned out he house sits and also just works at the company.I have given him plenty of opportunities to come clean about it but he hasnt admitted anything. i have not told him i know he is lying either as i was hoping by now he would realise i am not seeing him for money or for what he was supposed to have owned.2 questions. why has he lied and how do i approach the matter with himMany thanks
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female
reader, betty_black  +, writes (22 June 2009):
 Look, people lie for all manner of reasons. Obviously he was insecure about who he really was and didnt think you would be attracted to him or give him the chance if you knew the truth and so he lied. A lot of people do it, its like a white lie sort of thing so you'll give them that chance and meet them. The internet is a really easy way of doing it. Obviously he hasn't had a lot of luck with the ladies in his past but really liked you and wanted that chance but knew if you knew the real him you wouldn't go through with it and so he lied. I wouldn't blame him for what he did, i'm sure he isn't really a liar or a cheat, he was just scared about giving away his real identity incase you ran away screaming!
A
female
reader, rainbow1 +, writes (22 June 2009):
rainbow1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMisunderstandings here. I am not stupid and know he wont change, i dont want him to change. I wanted no strings fun and thats why when he had asked to meet i did it on my terms. I also meant to say he had asked to meet me out on several occasions but i declined.
I have plenty of good going on in my life and was not seeing him for the mystery as he is not mysterious at all. He just house sits the house he said he owned and doesnt own the company he said he did.
I wrote this mainly because of the more vulnerable women out there who can get hurt.
I think dating sites should be more widely scanned and there should be staff who will take any email from people to prevent men like this being on the sites.
I know a few guys who are genuine and joined those sites so what chance do they have when there are so many scammers
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A
female
reader, rainbow1 +, writes (22 June 2009):
rainbow1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the quick response
I understand what you both say. I do know there are alot of people who would not get a chance with a woman if they put their own photo up and to be honest i wasnt looking for anything from him. I didnt meet with him for anything.
He always made the moves and i would meet when i wanted. sounds harsh and cold but i was at a point in my life i didnt want anything serious.
His lying is of course why i would end it as it was obvious from the beginning he wa trying to impress me or keep up with me. I am no page three stunner by all means but i am very attractive (please do not take that as big headed) i have alot of admirers and i am very successful in my career , so their was no need to stay with him for my own insecurities. It is just nice to hea rothers viewpoints and if they had experienced this kind of thing before. I know he is insecure with his looks and to be brutally honest he has a reason to be. But you would think after all this time he would trust me to admit the truth.
I just find with internet dating there are an immense amount of vulnerable people out there who can get hurt. i for one thankgod have not been fooled or hurt as i do not go on them to find true love, i ahve met some good people as friends there as that was and is all i am looking for
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (22 June 2009):
 You should never have even gotten with him in the first place - if he started the relationship by not even showing you a true picture of himself, how can there be any trust?
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