A
female
age
41-50,
*orriedfornoreason
writes:MY husband and I have been together since we were both seniors in high school. We got married after graduation. We both have jobs, great friends, 3 wonderful children (5 years, 3 years and 3 months). Our relationship has always been great. BUT now my insecruities and imagination are ruining not only our marriage but me. A year ago my husband went back to college to better his career, it was something I supported 100% and knew he was doing it for us. But once he went I got very insecure. He got a few new friends (all single guys), and with the job he was training for he would have to spend 2 weeks a month out of town. He would call several times a day or send me online messages while we was gone. After a few months I started questioning him about girls from school/work, any new girls he added to facebook. He has never cheated on me in the past and was honest with me about people I asked about even giving me his passwords to facebook and his email accounts. Any messages from girls were always school related,I did find a few text to a guy about the hot girl in class or all the girls at the meetings that the other guy was missing out on. He is very nice lookign and always gets hit on no matter where we go, so I know when he is out alone that chances are girls are flirting with him. No matter how many times he tells me he loves me or that he would never cheat I cant get it out of my head and it is causing huge fights between us. what do I do to stop this before it ruins our marriageplease help
View related questions:
cheated on me, facebook, flirt, insecure, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): "I did find a few text to a guy about the hot girl in class or all the girls at the meetings that the other guy was missing out on."This is the only thing you need to be concerned about that I can see from what you've said. Why would he need to be discussing hot girls with his single friends and why are all of his friends single. There must be some students who are married also. If he is in good communication with you when he is away and everything else is good in your relationship then you probably don't need to worry other than that you're fighting about this. If he gave you his passwords that does show trust. Try to discuss all of your concerns with him without arguing about it. A partner should make you feel at ease that you are safe in the relationship.Take care.
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove +, writes (21 February 2011):
 Go with him when he goes out with his new friend(s) so your imagination will stop running away with you.
Bottom line is "He has never cheated on me in the past and was honest with me about people I asked about even giving me his passwords to facebook and his email accounts." This is great! Unless you're leaving something out here I don't see what the problem is other than your active imagination. I wish you all the best!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): Just trust him. You said yourself, "he has never cheated on me." so you already have the trust in him, you just need to use it. I'm guessing you were cheated on before, hence why you are paranoid. I'm surprised he has given you access to his facebook/email. What else could you ask for?Also, have some confidence in yourself. You say he's a good looking guy, well he is with you. So you have to be an attractive woman. No good looking guy would be with any woman, unless she's attractive. Occupy your time with something. The more free time you have, the more time you have to let your imagination get the best of you. Someone once told me...if someone wants to cheat. Then they will. There is absolutely NOTHING you can do to stop them. So it makes no sense to be checking calls/texts/facebook in the hopes that they won't cheat, or you will catch it before something serious happens. Think about it. Is there really any action you can take that would stop him from cheating if he really wanted too? Nope.So let him be. Trust = let go. You can spend your whole life worrying and adding stress and it wont change the outcome one bit. If he's faithful, then he's faithful, because that's who he is.
...............................
|
