A
female
age
36-40,
*ifesweird
writes:My husband's mistress faked a pregnancy and he asked her to terminate the pregnancy. They had many ugly fights following that. Then he finally told me yesterday that she said she isn't pregnant and just wanted to see if he cares about her. Since then he has not contacted her, but I can see that he is different and he is always thinking. Perhaps he feels bad about the way he treated her? Does he love that woman? He claims he is sorry and was using protection with her and will never do that again, but since she said she was faking it he is another person. I am not sure what to think.
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female
reader, FloridaCatGirl  +, writes (9 February 2011):
 You said, “He says he will never leave me and loves me but I am suspecting that he is now feeling bad because of all the ugly things he told her when he told she was pregnant.”
Feeling bad? For her? Are you kidding me? You’re the one who was betrayed by your own husband. This selfish woman pretended to be pregnant, so that she could find out just how far he would go for her love! I don’t care what he told her when he found out she was lying. This woman tried to ruin your marriage, and he should be angry at her for that. You were the victim. Your husband should be down on his hands and knees begging for your forgiveness, instead of worrying about hurting her feelings.
Is this the first time he has cheated on you? It doesn’t sound like you are standing up for yourself. You can’t just sweep this under the rug, and hope this situation will go away on its own. He’ll just run right back to her. You need to be assertive, and tell him his behavior is unacceptable. Either he cuts all ties with her, or you are leaving him.
Are you 100% certain he isn’t in contact with her? Have you checked his phone or text messages? You need to find out what is going on here.
A
female
reader, ashley187 +, writes (9 February 2011):
 First of all... your husband is cheating on you!
You should never have to question if he loves SOMEONE else. Have enough respect for yourself to put your foot down! I understand when you love someone it can be hard to let go, but if he doesn't cut off all contact with this homewrecker (thats what she is doing by faking a pregnancy--trying to get him to leave you) then you need to walk away. Not to mention.. if you do stay together; can you forgive him for what he's already done and continue in a healthy relationship? That's what you really need to ask yourself. Also, have you ever asked him WHY he was cheating in the first place? Did he feel like you did something, or that he needed more? I would want to know what caused him to do it in the first place. Everyone deserves respect, especially in their relationship. If you do decide to stay, and it happens AGAIN or you realize you can't get past what he did.. you will need to move on.
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A
female
reader, Chig  +, writes (9 February 2011):
 I have to say, your husband doesn't seem to be a very nice person.
You have obviously accepted him having someone else as well as you, but I would worry that he is a selfish person, and that he wishes to take what he wants with no consequences.
I know the other woman said she was faking pregnancy, but she is obviously suffering to feel that she had to do that. He made her realise that he cares nothing for her by asking her to have an abortion of course.
Whatever he is feeling, he should stay away from her and concentrate on making his marriage better, and nurturing his relationship with you, if you still want him that is :)
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A
female
reader, lifesweird +, writes (9 February 2011):
lifesweird is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am 25 we have known each other since high school. We have a 2 year old son. He has also known that woman for a while. Presumably she is an ex from before our wedding and they met again recently. That's what he told me. He says he will never leave me and loves me but I am suspecting that he is now feeling bad because of all the ugly things he told her when he told she was pregnant. Perhaps he is depressed because he knows it is over between the woman and him. I don't have the strength to be a single mom, but I don't want to stay with a husband who is missing another woman.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 February 2011):
 Why are you still with your husband? He obviously is cheating on you and disrespecting you and your marriage.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (9 February 2011):
 Considering your claimed young age, how long into the marriage was this and doesn't this say a LOT about how he views the marriage. It seems like more then an affair and basically you are married to a guy who cheated on his wife for a long time and lied to his mistress about his feelings.
No matter how you turn the story, it doesn't look like he cares for you at all or indeed people in general.
These kind of situations are not nearly as complex as women like to think. Look at it from his point, what does he have to feel in terms of respect and love to be able to act like this?
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A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (9 February 2011):
Oh my! This woman sounds immature and manipulative! You asked, “Does he love that woman?” If you haven’t already, you need to ask him this. How long has the affair been going on? And, why is he still in contact with her? He needs to block her from his phone, email, and social networking sites like Facebook.
You said, “He is different and he is always thinking.” He is probably trying to sort out his feelings. What exactly do you mean when you say he is “different”? How has he changed?
You didn’t give too many details, so I’m trying to get a better idea of the situation. How long have you been married? Have you two discussed marriage counseling? If not, you need to do that immediately. He needs to decide who he wants to be with. If he’s not willing to commit 100% to you, then you deserve to know, so you can move on with your life.
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