A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been having suspicions that my husband could be gay for awhile now. When he is talking to other men he is a little to friendly when talking to them. He has friends he talks to that I have never met.When he goes to shake another man's hand he holds on to their hand a little too long. He makes eye contact with certain men in a way that makes me a little uncomfortable. He seems to always know the gay guy in the bunch when we go out and he will point it out to me. He is always tripping out when anyone talks about anything homosexual like today I confronted him and asked him if he found other men attractive and he started blazing up and cussing me and then he calmed down so quickly and started on a different subject out of the blue and I asked him again and he said it doesn't matter man to man is wrong. He couldn't look me in my eye and then he gave me a kiss and said I shouldn't ask him about this again. Do u think he is gay or am i looking to much into this? If the answer is yes, I don't know what i'm gonna do cuz I got kids with him. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, mdmaddox11 +, writes (25 October 2012):
I was thinking that he is bi but ashamed. I think that you should give him some time and help him with his "bisexuality" I think that will make him love you more- to know that you know his secret and you are willing to work with him on it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012): There's always the possibility, but my first thought (like others that have posted) is that he could be bisexual and embarrassed about it, or his religious beliefs may be against it. I'm really sorry that you have these doubts, and I hope you find out. Others gave you really good advice... If he's never given you a reason to cheat, you probably have nothing to worry about. Do you guys have sex often? Does he compliment/appreciate your body? You should really assess your physical and emotional relationship. Look at the signs and trust your gut. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2012): He could be bisexual but keeping quiet because he thinks it is wrong. His remark when you confronted him, saying it doesnt matter, man to man is wrong. Would lead me to wonder too because it was not a denial. The thing is this. If he is bisexual or bi curious, that does not mean he will run off with men anymore than a heterosexual man will run off with a women. He met you and fell in love, married you and has a family with you.You have his heart.Maybe he does `fancy` both sexes but that does not mean he would cheat on you anymore than a heterosexual man would cheat with another women, so try asking him again during a quiet time. Be ready to reassure him that its ok to talk to you, you wont judge him harshly for being honest. It might require you to `bite your tongue` and get a shock but if you have been wondering for some time, atleast you should get a concrete answer either way if you can convince him it is ok to disclose to you. Just ask that he is civil and doesnt shout at you again. There is no need for that. He should be able to communicate without shouting.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2012): "Do u think he is gay or am i looking to much into this?"Not necessarily gay, but at very least curious or bi. "If the answer is yes, I don't know what i'm gonna do cuz I got kids with him."That depends on his level of M4Mness and your level of tolerance. May not be option for you, but have heard of a few cases where couple has a mutually-agreeable understanding with defined terms in place. Advantages: keeps family together for kids' sake, more economical than maintaining two households.Not saying applicable in this case, but sadly must acknowledge some guys will try wife-and-kids "cure" to ward off coming out, but if he's gay he won't be able to maintain the lie forever. If you're picking it up, good chance, wives usually first to be sure. Defensiveness also not inconsistent.Again, can only point out that kids are in picture, too late to assign blame. Have known a few married guys go through process long-term, in any event best-case long-term outcome is both parents remain present, active and involved in kids lives. Gay fathers groups good resource if nearby, guess I'm suggesting it may be best for you to prepare for possibility and to degree beliefs and values allow then provide any help you can. He may not always be hubby, but will always be kids' father, don't lose sight of that.Sympathize with your plight, can only hope you can temper personal resentment, not personal attack or statement on you, just who he is. Unfortunately still not easy to live as gay man on day-to-day basis, most guys end up in impossible situations, can only again stress kids come first. Not sure of climate where you live, but just raising alternative that this may not be go-stay situation. Most guys ultimately able to maintain cordial relationship with wives whatever end arrangements.Point: If hubby is gay, that doesn't necessarily make him the enemy. He'll need any help and support he can get, whatever efforts you believe allowable will help him and kids in end, you must remember that whatever happens in kids' eyes you will always be a family. Likely big challenge pending, can only offer suggestion that both hubby and kids will need you, hope you can draw upon reservoirs of untapped strength and tolerance in order to take the lead and set example for kids.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (19 October 2012):
It's hard to say. From what you've written it could very well be possible, but since you're the only one providing the context I cannot see the whole situation. You may be looking too much into it.
On the other hand his reaction to you bringing up the subject is weird to say the least. It could be that he's been taught that being gay is wrong and cannot bear the possibility of him being this way.
How does he behave towards you in general? Is he loving, is he passionate when it comes to sex? How about other women, does he look at them in the same way he does at guys?
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