| A ,
anonymous
writes: Is this normal?I have been with my Husband for 14 years and recent I found out that my husband visits porn websites instead of making love with me. He does this 2/3 times per week.This has really upset me as I thought we had a honest and open relationship. He said he is still in love with me, and he still wants to make love. But I feel betrayed and I don't know whether to believe him. He said he will stop visiting these sites, but I wonder if there is more to it, like he's not attracted to me anymore. Please help.
View related questions:
porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): I completely understand, I recently found out that my husband has visited my space and searches out women who display themselves in vulgar positions. Meanwhile when I attempt any type of sex, he begs out because of his weight or his torn up knee, or indigestion or what ever new malady he has.
when I questioned him about his myspace activity he swears he has not made contact, and that these things just pop up, but I found this activity on the history on my computer. If I am correct the history only records those sites you search out or click on...correct? I feel like an unsexy, unwanted fool.....
A
reader, x-clare-x +, writes (12 April 2005):
why don't you try sticking a porno in the VCR and making love while its on. It could be fun, you can watch it and act out all the different positions!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2005): I know exactly how you feel. Me and my partner used to have amazing sex and then it began to seriously dwindle. When I found out he was still looking at porn even though we weren't doing it, I felt so betrayed. It took literally months of talking and rowing. I could not understand why he was looking at that but not at me. You need to explain how it is making you feel rather than just get mad cos it's porn. My boyfriend was very honest, it is a guy thing, they like to look at the act of sex. It's not really the girls, if you get what I mean.Things are bound to get stale, and if you put pressure on this issue, it won't always help, even though I know how much it hurts. We went away for a dirty weekend, I got hot underwear and we talked about both our issues. If it helps you must remember guys may lack confidence too. We talked honestly about both our fantasies, you need to let him know what you want to. I bought a pvc nurses outfit and was too embarrassed to get it out for fear of not being hot enough. I know it's hard not to compare yourself to the girls you see, but when I finally showed it to him casually, he went wild!! Maybe get some porn to look at together if you feel comfortable. I doubt that he would rather look at porn than have sex with you.You're the real thing, remember!!!Men will have always looked at porn, from a hormonal teenager and they will still get urges throughout all their life. Don't feel bad, discuss how it makes you feel and ask him how you can put a bit more passion into the relationship. Good luck, and remember if you have been together 14 years he definately loves you. Don't feel bad, be his own personal porn star. He will love that more than any girl on the net, I promise!!!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2005): This happened to me... What I am about to tell you is the godshonest truth!!I found out that he was having an affair with himself!! I found videos of his own backside, so he could see how good it looked - he even put it on the pc as a still!! I also found masses of folders FULL of porn pics he had downloaded and pics from mags. He had spent our money on blackmarketed porn videos - there must have been 20 and all at an extortionate price each!! Put it this way, I could buy a video machine for the price of ONE of these videos. He had a big old wardrobe in the garage with boxes in of all sorts of rubbish/porno stuff... handcuffs, whips, you name it... he even had womens "joyballs"!! Goodness knows where he put them!! the mind boggles. He also kept elastic bands in his dressing gown pocket. After our sex life dwindled, I found out that he was also having an intimate affair with a good friend of mine... oh yes, the classic one... but this gets better... I went into the garage and I found a suitcase FULL of luminous bikinis!!! I have to say that they were not my size. I knew he liked to wear lycra shorts but this took the biscuit!! I threw all the pics and content of suitcase and boxes into the street... we lived on a quite well to do street too. He came home from work one day to find his secret affair strewn all over the place... He wasn't too happy, but was I supposed to be???Anyway, I suggest you get yourselves to counselling, he needs a sex therapist before it goes any further, and you need to stop lowering yourself. Do yourself up a bit, show him what he's missing... give him a chance to clean up his act and spend some time on you instead of a dead screen. Before its too late. Either that or kick him into touch and go get a life.
...............................
A reader, nice_advice, writes (12 March 2005): by the sounds of it hun it looks like he is in to just plain sex instead of making love he says he "loves you" well he most likley does, it's just that men like to make love every so often but they also like to have just plain sex with a little bit of roleplay, so go down to your nearest sex shop and shock him :D bob
...............................
|
