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writes: Hi, Not sure where to start. I have been with my husband for 4 years and married for 2 with a little girl of 1 and 2 children with my ex. The last few months, things have been bad with my husband and all we do is row. He don't help me out round the house or with the children and now I've started working part time he gets all moody about it.I have confided in a mutualfriend of ours for months and we ended up sleeping together on a few occations. It has stopped now as we both agreed it was wrong and should never have happened. But still things are not going well with me and hubby. He even made threats to leave me coz I've been working and he still don't think he should have to help me out at home, as he works full time.I'm not sure how much more I can take. Please help as I'm at a loss of what to do. My mates keep telling me to kick him out but I'm not sure this would solve anything.
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (8 July 2005):
I agree with your mates....you need a Break !
You are trying to take care of 3 children, do all the housework, cooking & cleaning & then your "fourth" child arrives home & takes temper tantrums because you decided to work out of the home, part time.
He may work full time, but honey, you also work full time PLUS OVERTIME.
Does he think because you are at home that you do not work?
Being at home with 3 children is the toughest job of all !
A mother's job is from sunrise to sunset & sometimes late into the night. We don't get much sleep when our children are young, so it's IMPERATIVE that you have a helpful supportive mate to help bear the burden & share the responsbilities.
If your mate thinks he can come home & kick off his shoes & sit down to a delicious hot meal, while his MAID (you) runs around taking care of everyone, and then he lounges on the couch with the remote, while you bathe & prepare the children for bed...then when you're done...you collapse exhausted into bed...and your husband slides in next to you, thinking he's gonna get his rocks off...he needs a REALLY RUDE AWAKENING to the life of a parent !
Your husband needs to experience what you endure, for JUST ONE DAY and if he has a brain in his head...he will change.
When he has a day off...leave a note saying you are taking a break & the children are his responsibility for the day.
Go shopping...out for lunch with girlfriends, kick back & enjoy the whole day....do NOT phone home !
Later when you come home, he might be angry & nasty, but hold your ground and let him know that you ALSO work very hard and deserve one day a week for some freedom.
If he doesn't accept your terms...and continues to be lazy and moody...I would suggest a separation.
You already have 3 children...you don't need a 4th !
All the best,
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