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female
,
anonymous
writes: I really didn't know if I should write but for three weeks I have caught my husband staying up late to look at porno on the TV. I would turn over and just go to sleep. One night he gets in the bed, waits for me to go to sleep and then he gets up and goes on the computer to view some women on the internet. I can't handle this too well because I have never had this problem before. What do I do is this situation? He had a bad addiction 2 years ago.
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (8 July 2005):
Obviously his addiction has reared its ugly head again.
NOW is the time to take action & exercise Tough Love or he will slip back into his illness & it will destroy him.
You said his addiction 2 years ago was BAD.
I sense your anxiety, so I believe the last time you endured this issue, was very painful and damaging.
If you continue to ignore it & look the other way, your husband will view that as "permission" to continue.
Re-establish healthy boundaries by confronting him face to face...tell him that you are NOT COMFORTABLE with the fact that he is into porn again and you KNOW he sneaks out of bed every night to fantasize & masturbate on the internet.
Make it CRYSTAL CLEAR that you will not tolerate any more.
I would advise installing a program that will prevent him from viewing internet porn...it will block those sites.
If he freaks out & screams & yells at you...show him the exit, & tell him not to let the door hit his butt on the way out !
If he is a man who truly loves you...he will seek professional help & overcome his addiction.
Addictions are STRONG & damaging to loved ones.
Don't allow yourself to be a victim of his illness.
All the best,
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