A
female
age
41-50,
*ejra Blue
writes:why do I do what I do? My husband is my world. He is kind, funny, hard working and attractive. But has hard time giving affection. I have been married for nine years and feel "we" will always be. He's been working on affection, but now my mind has been on chase for who I have attained attention from. I now have cheated twice. One guy was sexy, smart and worth billions. The other guy handsome and was known to be hard to get, he is also a famous photographer. He feel in love with me, but I stopped returning his calls. Now, I have gained attention from a talented fine artist painter who is calling for more time with me. I do not think I am all that, so to get this attention from these men is very rewarding. It may be a self esteem issue, but the thing is I don't know how to stop the chase. I want these men to desire me because it fun, exciting and every women would love to have a moment with them. SO I consider cheating, knowing these men are just a game and I wouldn't leave my husband. But yet the desire is still there and if I continue the day will come my husband will find out and leave me for good. But then again, he is so in love, sometime I think he looks past what he most likely knows, just to be with me. So tell me how can I get over desire to put attention toward my husband who is "trying" to be affectionate.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Young Old Lady +, writes (22 April 2012):
 I'm one to say I completely understand. Stop beating her up because she not the only one with a problem.If he cant give you what you need on his own,ask him to go to counseling to get the tools. If it doesnt work,then hey,maybe you guys arent for each other. Sorry So Late
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): your desires and your conscience? you know what needs to be followed. desires will always tend to take any one to wrong direction which destroys every thing, it is the conscience who gives the right direction in life. Be true to your conscience. I know your conscience is stoping you from your SINs and this is why you posted question here.
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A
female
reader, Dejra Blue +, writes (27 May 2010):
Dejra Blue is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou all are right, but it's not sex that drives me to these other men. It's the rewards of attention that they are talented, handsome and some are rich. They are men that most women would do anything to have a moment with. I do need to stop the desire to keep getting their attention. I do need to stop having these relationships or just leave my husband. I do love my husband, but I have spent many years feeling lonely in our marriage and found plenty attention/affection from powerful men. I have had the talk with my husband, asking him to work on this relationship, otherwise I may leave him. He understands and has tried to work on it. But, now my mind has moved on to attaining the rewards of attention from others. I know I am horrible!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): I never thought there ever was a legit excuse to cheat. Just the same ole "woe is me", "my wife/husband doesn't understand me", "it just happened".YOU are planning to do this, you feel you have the right too even. I don't get it. If you husband isn't giving you what you want then why are you still there?You need your head examined. See a counselor before you go cheat. Once you cheat. YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK!Cheaters disguest me.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 May 2010):
 You say you love your husband, but you consider him a wuss that would put up with anything you did. Surprises do happen, you know? One fine day you will find you lost him. Yet it feels so bad to think that it wouldn't be love, but convenience, that would keep you from cheating on him.
Do the decent thing and leave the man.
I'm sorry for him. I know his heart would be broken to minuscule pieces if he saw your post.
I'm also sorry for the guys who might fall for you thinking they stand a chance.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 May 2010):
You won't always 'be' at this rate. At some point, he will find out and that will be the end of it. Men aren't stupid, and we are far less forgiving than women. You think that he will look past you cheating? He will not. He will walk out in a second. So stop these affairs, tell him you're unhappy and need more affection and show him affection instead of these other men so he can open up. Because if you don't, you can be assured that your little happy bubble will explode and you'll be left with nothing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): bottom line no matter how much of love and affection you will receive you will still continue to be a adultress. i think you have a sex addiction problem and when you sort out your HEAD then you will get to know what marriage, love and marital fidelity really is. consult a shrink to help you with your mental and emotional problems first.
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