A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband's personal hygiene is bad. He doesn't change his underwear everyday. I've tried to help him with it, but he just seems to go blank if its mentioned. He gets showered everyday, and uses deodorant but that's about it. He seems to wear the same clothes day in, day out.He shows no interest in the things he used to, even his hobbies of motorcycling, cookery and eating out.His libido seems to have gone - whenever I want sex he just doesn't seem to be interested.how can I help him?? it seems like he's lost his spark and his zest for living.
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female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (7 June 2007):
 I think your husband may be depressed. The symptoms are all there - lack of interest in normal hobbies, friends, sex, and personal appearances. Talk to him and see if you can figure out what's on his mind. Could he be going through things at work he hasn't told you about? Like a poor performance evaluation? Was he passed over for a promotion? Having problems with his boss? Men tend to bottle up things to begin with but often the person who is depressed is unaware of their own depression. They just feel lethargic in general, and often have thoughts of "what's the point?" when they think about their life. If you can't get him to talk to you, pick up some brochures from your healthcare professional on depression and leave them for him to read. Counseling can help. Medication is sometimes required. Even visiting with your local pastor can re-direct a person's purpose and pull them out of a depressive phase. Don't ignore these problems. They are not simply hygenic. There's more going on here than you realize. I wish you both the best.
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (7 June 2007):
 Have you ever really sat down and talked about what is going on with him.
Sounds like your both not that old and to have lost that spark at his age seems a bit premature to say the least.
Is he worried about anything to your knowledge? Money, job or home etc?
Does he sleep a lot more than normal or is he constantly irritable?
He could be slightly depressed about something.
I would take his clothes and put them into the wash so he can't wear them day in and day out and if the washing machine is already on then how can he wear wet clothes.
If he is showering daily and using deodorant then that is a bonus as my ex did not always do that and I had to say to him one time - ooh BO sweetheart and he soon got a roll on deodorant believe me.
Make sure there are ironed and fresh clothes waiting in the wardrobe and keep taking the clothes and night and saying that you need to make up a light wash or dark wash, he can't object if he thinks you are just being house proud and if you live in a warm climate then you are very conscious of it. Don't know where exactly you live in the US but different States have different temperatures.
We all go through periods in our lives when the hobbies change but perhaps by cooking yourself and getting him involved with some chopping may stir up his enthusiasm again.
You be upbeat and see if he catches on.
If you are truly worried about him why not go and talk to your GP or something and tell them your concerns to see if there are any underlying problems that he is not talking to you about.
I am sure things will turn around but it could be that he is worried about something and that is why he is not interested in the fun things of life.
Keep us posted.
BFN
Country Woman
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