A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, well see my problem is my husband treats me like one of his buddies, like talk to me like one joke with me (depending what mood he is). And will tell me take this or carry this not like a book like heavy stuff chairs from upstairs to down stairs. Anyways i just feel that i would like to be treated like a lady sometimes... I think he forgets that im his wife (Women) Because like last night he like kept on talking to another girl non stop.! I mean he doesnt even talk to me like that. if i would try to talk to him like that he will say you are iritating and go do something. Just shut up! I feel at this moment that im just a person that cleans after him, and if i want to talk to him he is not interested. Am i doing something wrong? I mean i try my best for him to talk and be nice to me. Ill do all the cleaning , cooking give him drinks during the night ( When he shouts drinks, i will get him some , but if i dont he gets very temperd. So he told me the other lady at his work place is very friendly i told him every women is friendly even me , it depends on how you treat them... So yeah he gave me a phone for our honeymoon he had problems with his . So i told him use mine because he really needs one. Now he tells everyone its actually me wifes phone i gave it to her but took it back. Oh yeah before i foget when he where talking to that lady he ignored me flat! And she also i were polite.. Please help what can i do so he give some attention to me... I did do a make over like cut my hair dress up. Well how i can try to talk to him so we can chat.... And he treats me like a lady and not a dude ( idont mind actually) But would love to have the feeling that he still thinks im a lady. Like i hade to carry his computer down the stairs so when i went back up he told me take this with you down stairs i told him No and i walked down. Because he moved my computer away from him. He says im just annoying him. But how? I mean i work on my PC and just ask him when i get me something to drink would he like something... He talk on a chatting server all day long when he wakes up, at work, after work till morning hours. Sometimes just helping people then jokes and then dirty talking.... Am i doing something wrong here, If so please help me... It is as if he doesnt care what i do aslong as i do what he tells me to do... He is 28Years old im 26 years old we are married 2months and are together for 8 years. Oh yeah i do mension to him that im a lady you know in a joking nice way
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (10 February 2010):
 Dear Anon,
Do yourself a favor and get a divorce.
Trust me. It is a really bad life ahead of you.
Do not be one of the people that live the mediocre life at best.
Be the one, who when you look back on your long life, you can say that you were with soemone that treated you with the respect that you deserve.
Its hard to end a relationship that you've been in for so long, no matter how disrespectful your partner is. However, in the end, it is that much harder to look back on a life wondering what your life would have been like had you taken the other path at the fork in the road.
Right now you are at a fork in the road. You are staring down two paths. The first path you already know and it is filled with disrespect and a man that WILL NOT CHANGE. I promise you this right now. He will not change. That path is filled with disrespect and misery, not only for you, but any kids that you will have. Your daughters will grow up thinking its ok to be disrespected and your sons will grow up thinking its ok to disrespect women. Neither is ok.
The second path, the path where you dont know what lies ahead, is the better one. It is filled with whatever you make of it. You are the one who starts your life fresh. You have the freedom to repeat your mistakes or learn from them. If you learn from your mistakes you will have love, happiness, and many years from now on your death bed you will say, "I am proud of what I have done with my life."
Be happy, be proud, take the risk, go down the road that you have not been on. Go down the road that will make you happy.
I sincerely hope you make the right decision.
-IHateWomanBeaters
A
female
reader, billy bilou  +, writes (10 February 2010):
 After reading your long story, I can deduce one thing. You husband does not seem to care about you at all as he ignores you in front of another woman. He prefers to give more importance to the other woman than you and you immediately become transparent to him in the presence of other women. You are begging him to get his attention. No I don't think the problem is that he is treating you like a lady, now that you are his wife, you are an acquired object for him so he behaves as he wants. Please have more self esteem for youself and stop making your world revolve around this man, you are as if living to make this man happy.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 February 2010):
Errm, to be honest, he sounds like he's a bit too into himself. This is a guy who shouts the word 'drink' at you, and you give it to him or he gets bad tempered. This is a guy who tells you to take heavy things around, and whom you clean and cook for. I know that if I ever shouted the word 'drink' to my girlfriend for her to bring it to me, she would get mad. I hate to tell you this, but you sound like a bit of a pushover. I don't mean to sound nasty, but you're doing far too much. He can get his own damn stuff, and he can do things for himself. He's not even treating you like another man (men don't tend to treat other men this badly). He's treating you more like a slave. Toughen up a bit. Don't be a doormat.
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