A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Me and my husband have been married for 11 years now and our marriage has always been rocky. I got pregnant and I felt we had to get married. I do love him, just not the way I should anymore. In the last year, his best friend has become my best friend too. He sees how crappy my husband treats me and he has tried so hard to make my husband open his eyes, but it's been to no avail. Me and him have become so close. He is divorced with a little girl and has been through some really rough times. He is such a wonderful man! We have been each others rocks! We tell each other everything. In the last several months, things are getting closer between us. My sister in law even told me that we look like we are madly in love with each other and we look so happy together. We all hang out together, my husband, me, his best friend, my brother and his wife. I am really thinking of leaving my husband for his best friend. Neither one of us want to hurt my husband, but we can't help the connection that we have. I am SO torn up inside! I do have DEEP feelings for his best friend and my heart is telling me to act on them, but my two kids will get the brunt. Me and my husband have always fought throughout our relationship in front of the kids and I know thats not right either. When me and his best friend are in a room together, our eyes are constantly on each other and my heart just feels connected to his. I've never felt that with my husband! Help. I don't know what to do?
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best friend, divorce, sister in law Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (25 November 2007):
 I'm sorry but this should have stopped long ago. Don't try and paint this rosy picture of prince charming riding in to the picture. Do you really think he's trying to convince your husband to change? Why would he want that if he's so in love with you?
By the way, he's no friend of yours or your husband. Friends don't behave this way. Make sure you understand that. You and Romeo are undermining the marriage and any chance to make it better. You gave up long ago instead of dealing with the problems. You say you don't want to hurt the kids......why are you doing this then?
You say this other guy is wonderful....what is your definition of wonderful? Does it include integrity, trust, loyalty. If he was an honest man he'd remove himself from this mess and find his own woman. He's nobodies rock, he's the sand underneath that causes the rock to shift. He's the shaky soil that is causing the foundation of your marriage to crumble.
You need to be honest with yourself. What has your husband done wrong? What have the two of you done to fix the marriage. Why are you taking the final steps to destroy the marriage in such a calculated hurtful way?
A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (25 November 2007):
 As I see nothing wrong happened yet. But it may happen any time. This is a kind of situation which I describe as ugly and unethical (falling in love with your boyfriends or husband's best friend) but unfortunately people fall in those traps.Anyway, if you are really unhappy with your husband and you life has become a torture then you should consider seperation. You should have consdered seperation independently, but this man comes in and possibly you are going to end this marriage not because you are deeply unhappy but because you love your husband's best friend. I think it is already went worng enough and keeping it in limbo may make it dangerous and ruinous for your family and the best freind. And the kids whats going to happen to them. After considering the future in every possible scenorio,1-either stay away from you husbands best friend and put an end to this wrong and dangerous situation2-or end your marriage take some time for reflection and try being together with the best friend.
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