A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband is only twenty four years old and he's very established for his age and he works very hard. But he takes care of this thirty three year old sister and he has been. Does anyone think this is weird that he would fully support her five thousand dollar a month lifestyle but won't pay for his kids to go to private school. She's causing a very big problem in our marriage. She a strong able-bodied woman. She doesn't have any health conditions as a matter of fact she has a four year old daughter from a married man. She also has two other kids that he supports. And her youngest is in private school which he pays for.
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (26 February 2009):
 I agree with Didda123. Some critical background information is missing here.
Several thoughts raced through my mind as I was reading your question, good as well as bad thoughts ;-). Amongst them, good thought: inheritance money that you may not be aware of, that has already been allocated from a trust fund, or her money from other sources (and he is just managing it), or bad thoughts: blackmail? incest? (or she may not be a birth sibling, but she was adopted - thus not qualify as incest), or that the children are his but her sister has adopted them?
I would approach this carefully, with an open mind. Yes, it is worrying that he does that. But it is also worrying that he does not come clean to you on why he does that.
In the meantime, you may need to consult an independent accountant and a lawyer for advice on your financial matter, should worse comes to worst. You have children with him that also need to be cared for. If the money used to her sister's lifestyle is not your - and your husband's - own hard earned money, perhaps a separate account needs to be established soon, so you know your own family's financial situation at all times.
Good luck and hope all works out for you,
Cat
A
female
reader, didda123 +, writes (26 February 2009):
 It does seem a bit extreme to me and i can understand how it is causing you marriage troubles, especially when he is prepared to pay for her youngest to go to private school but not his own!
If he had done the same for his own children i would have been thinking along the lines that if he is wealthy enough to provide for his sister that is really up to him as many people who have high earnings often help out lesser fortunate members of their family buying houses, cars etc but not to the sacrifice of their own immediate family!
How long have you both being married and do you know his immediately family very well do they live around you, do they all get on well and visit often?
I am just trying to get a little bit background because it doesn't seem to add up to me why her youngest child would be the favoured one and over your own children!
I would be interested to see what the other Aunts think about this as well.
If you have any other information it may help x
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