A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband has taken 6 weeks off work. Nothing odd about that you may think, after all we all have to have a holiday, don't we?Well, it's his behaviour that's worrying me.He just sits in front of the television eating nachos, corn chips, chocolate and drinking Diet Coke, Pepsi and sometimes vodka whilst watching porn DVDs or reality shows like Big Brother.He sits around in his underwear most of the time, and doesn't even bother to get shaved or dressed.In fact, the only time he ever does get dressed was to go out shopping - and very smartly in a suit and tie.I found this a bit odd.I hired a private eye to find out why, and I was worried my husband was having an affair, but the investigator told me my husband was just eating and eating.My husband's lost any interest in sex and only wants to eat. He's a great cook, don't get me wrong, but eating isn't the only thing we can do together - it's all he seems to want to do.I've asked him why he insists on getting so dressed-up for shopping, but had no response.What on earth is going on with him?? Also, how should I deal with this situation?I mean, you don't take a vacation from work to just watch porn and reality TV all day, do you?
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male
reader, Longterm  +, writes (15 August 2009):
I don't know, that sounds pretty relaxing to me. Does the vacation have a defined end? If it does - situation normal. If not you might want to sit down with him and work out a plan. Good luck, don't panic!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): He's bored and doesn't have the inclination to move because he' suffering through a mental block (possible depression).
Organize a trip and tell him to start driving.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (15 August 2009):
 There could in fact be a medical reson, but I am inclined to agree with those who are saying that he may have lost his job and you are going to be the last one to find out.
What control do you have over your finances? do you see a regular paycheck coming in even though six weeks have passed.
He could just be in severe denial. This seems more akin to some sort of depression that seeps in with the loss of a job, or a death of a loved one.
Get him to the doctor...and maybe you should call his boss at work to see what his employment status is.
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (15 August 2009):
 Mid-life crisis. "Is this as good as it gets?"
One way to shake him up is simply to tell him that if he's going to slum around all day, then the very least he can do is start paying attention to you and making good use of the time. That means starting to enjoy life outside of the TV and snack foods. In other words, tell him to get off his ass and start courting you again or ... you'll find a man who will do it for him.
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A
female
reader, busy04 +, writes (14 August 2009):
 Wow, not many here have really written anything comforting at all!
I believe that your husband may be going through something deeper & difficult. You need to one day sit down with him and really ask him in kindness what's going on. The things that you described he's doing are signs linked to depression & other things. Maybe you can suggest therapy (counseling), or even just give your husband a hug, hold him & tell him you love him. Not in a sexual way (even though you want it:), but in a caring way loving way, you never know what that may mean to him at this time. Sometimes you don't have to say a word because a hug means so much. And I know it may be hard but don't just walk around & get frustrated with him, because you want him to open up to you, not close off like it seems he's been doing. So make the home a pleasant, peaceful one, suggest going to the park. And if you think it's his job, why don't you call and find out what's going on there. Stay calm about this, it's been 6 weeks, there is still time for him to get a grip, still enough time to find out whats happening and put an end to it (if you can end it)
It'll work out! Good luck to you and your husband!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (14 August 2009):
This doesn't add up at all to me and I'm pretty sure this is a fake question. What the hell are "corn chips"? You don't get those in England.
The answer how ever is to kick his bloody arse.
Cut the plug off the TV and tell him to sort himself out.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): Well, yes, he is a teacher, a geography teacher, for the record, you got that one right.
It's school holidays, but his overeating is worrying me.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (14 August 2009):
 You also just don't take six weeks off. Not in the real world. What is he, a teacher?
Eating is comforting.
So what I am thinking, his holiday ain't entirely voluntary. Either he was fired or his company has had to stop work for a period?
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