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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: My husband ,after years of neglect,started to change like crazy.He works out,looks at himself in the mirror, and very snappy with me.He wants to buy new shirts, and pants, he never ever wanted it before. He has a weird expression,on his face,and I'm just so puzzeled.He stoped being sexual with me years ago, and he has no libido.He is like the guy in the ''american beauty''/What should I do ? Should I get out ,before he goes into a full blown midlife crises?It is really risky for me, to see this transformation.What do you think will happen here, everything is like a bad dream. What should I do? Try to compite with him who will look better,or just get a place for myself?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): girl its time for you to really start sniffing around - if he isn't giving it to you, he SURE is giving it to somebody. start your proper investigation now.
you need to nip this in the bud, but yes, also start taking more care of yourself, new hairstyle/haircut, dress well, etc. he also needs to know that you also value yourself and you are also investing in yourself.
also start being financially fit. if you can put away some money without him knowing, then do so. build a "golden nest" for any lean times ahead. take stock of your assets. know where his money is going. and lastly MAKE NOTES. yes, dates, times,events, amounts etc. you have to do your homework. oh, and subtely make him aware that you are aware of his ongoings.
A
female
reader, kaylagal  +, writes (30 May 2009):
 Not sure but those are the signs of a man having an affair. He's not sleeping with you, he snaps at you, and doesn't give you attention. So who is he dressing up for, I think he is going somewhere else. If I were you, I would start investigating him, check credit cards, phone calls, check everything.Good luck.
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A
male
reader, rocknroll +, writes (30 May 2009):
A guy can't buy new underwear without causing alarm?Poster, please provide more information:Why has he been neglected? By whom?Anything else going on in his life besides what you see at home? How is his work? What does he do for a living that may answer why he is more concerned about his appearances?Most midlife crisis's in men are caused by the wife going through her PMS.Not enough information for me to jump on this theory.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (30 May 2009):
 Hi there,
I agree with Britt, something has caused him to stop in his tracks and take stock of himself. Did he just have a physical where the doc said he's in trouble?
If he has gone out and bought new underwear, be very alarmed, especially if he's not done that before.
I agree that you need to open the lines of communication, take care of yourself and go ahead and give him praise for taking care of himself.
Thinking about leaving or straying is a lot easier than actually leaving or straying but having the partner even think about leaving or straying is a blow to the relationship.
Continue to be aware of your surroundings.
Best of luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): I hope I'm wrong, but I believe this could be a sign that he has met someone who has caught his interest.
I would open the lines of communication, and question his motives.
I wouldn't compete with him, but I would certainly try to be the be (and look) the best I could possibly be!
Don't jump the gun on leaving...find out what's going on first. If there is a new love interest, you will know it in your gut! We always do!
Good Luck!
Britt
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