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female
age
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*atersgal
writes:My husband ordered diet pills for me online without saying anything to me about it first. He said he just wanted to help me because he knows my weight bothers me.I don't know how exactly to feel about this am I wrong that him doing that bothers me more then my weight? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 November 2017):
 Okay so your BMI suggests that you are over weight, do you talk to him about your weight? Is it possible he was genuinely trying to do a good thing for you or do you feel he was telling you that you need to loose weight? Men do tend to do some silly things and it could be that his heart was in the right place.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2017): The fact that you don't know how to actually 'feel' about this or 'express' your feelings to your husband about this is quite revealing. Has this kind of thing happened before in other areas? Does he take control of your personal issues and brush it off? Is this the first time he's done something like this?Without knowing more, it is hard to see if he has acted like an idiot and thought he was doing the right thing (and stepped on your emotional toes) or whether is in indicative of a deeper problem.Personally, it would annoy me deeply that someone had taken control of my life and was making decisions for me. Also, diet pills from the internet is just dangerous and not the right way to go about losing weight.If I had a good relationship with my man and he had just acted like an idiot, I would say something like, 'hon, I know you were thinking of me, and I like that you wanted to do something good for me, thank you, but please ask first. It's my body and I want to make decisions about it.'If this isn't the first time he's done something like this, well, maybe you need to take a closer look at what's going on in your relationship and set boundaries.
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female
reader, tatersgal +, writes (31 October 2017):
tatersgal is verified as being by the original poster of the question5'2" 140 lbs
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 October 2017):
 1. I wouldn't take diet pills off the Internet without a doctor's suggestions.
2. I'd probably be pissed off at my husband for the wasting of money AND the "you are fat" hint.
3. I lost quite a bit of weight over a period of almost 2 years because I knew I needed to lose weight, not because hubby thought I was getting fat. It's a STRUGGLE when you are over 35 and female. It takes HARD work and diet pills are NOT to route to take TBH - talking to your doctor should be the FIRST pit-stop.
4. Is your hubby right? Do you need to drop some weight so you can be HAPPY and HEALTHY? Have you complained about added weight gain? (but done nothing)...? Then maybe you should take this "hint" and get on it and NOT take it as an insult. This is your husband, he SHOULD be able to tell you that he wants to support you in your path to get healthy. THOUGH (the diet pills were a clumsy move - even if it got your attention).
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (31 October 2017):
 He's obviously not going to be invited to join the diplomatic corps any time soon!
That aside - and yes, I can totally understand why it would upset you - PLEASE don't be tempted to take pills without knowing exactly what is in them. They are usually advertised as an "easy fix" whereas, in fact, many are dangerous, especially if you have any other medical conditions.
IF you want to lose weight, do it sensibly. Eat healthily, try to exercise more. Perhaps you could both start a fitness kick together?
He may have been a bit misguided in his attempts to help you but, if you ARE unhappy about your weight, it might be a good idea to actually do something about it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2017): Yah I would be pretty annoyed too if I were you. I find it meddling in someone's personal business...yes he is your spouse, but IMO someone's appearance, fashion choices and health choices are their own. Spouses can comment when asked-- but only when asked. He definitely overstepped that line. I am guessing however that this is not the first time his "meddling" behaviour has come about. So, hopefully you knew somewhat what you were getting into when you married him...if this is "just the way he is" there is not much you can do to change it but laugh it off and try not to take it too seriously. But I would also be sure to tell him that YOUR body is your choice and he should not be taking it upon himself to order those kinds of things or insist you look a certain way. How would he like it if you ordered him an extra-strength wrinkle cream to use everyday from online? Probably not much. Because it wouldn't be any of your business and you as his spouse should accept him as he is, just as he should accept YOU how you are. How much overweight are you? I would probably try to get fit but definitely not on his terms. Beat him at his own game and make yourself fit for YOU. Good luck. There is not much you can do but grin and bear his unwanted and insulting gesture at this point, sorry to say. We women have to put up with so much insensitive crap, sometimes men can just be sooo ignorant to what is appropriate and what is not.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (30 October 2017):
 OK - he got it badly wrong. Laugh it off and move on. He was trying to be helpful in his own clumsy way. You can bin them, or not, depending how you want to play it.
However are you doing anything to look after yourself and get fitter? Perhaps you should take this clumsy move a motivator and arrange youown slimming regime - that's if you want to.
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