A
female
age
41-50,
*ameron082
writes:I am 27 years old and have been married about 5 years. I am very torn as to what to do about my marriage. (We have a 5 year old son) My husband has been very irrational about things lately. He calls me a w____, little girl, b____....etc when I do something that he perceives as "disrespectful" to him. I honestly don't feel as though I have done anything to deserve this treatment, although my husband says he is justified in calling me these names. "I'm just being honest" he always claims. Bear in mind that I am not cheating-he calls me these things for even talking to a guy. I relly need some advice to get through to my husband. He insists that he never does anything wrong to me, but I am tired of being called names constantly and being treated like this!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, epifanatical  +, writes (1 September 2008):
 ok.. here we go again.. ive even written on this very subject.. justification!! you see my dear.. when people start accusing you and name calling you.. they usually have a hidden secret .. they are using it to justify THEIR behaviour.. truth!! how well do you know your husband?.. could he very well be doing this also?.. but when he sees it in you he flips?.. typical guy behaviour..
doesnt he talk to women?.. he'd prolly be lying if he says no.. that means he sees the women he talks with as fair game.. and if you do the same.. he is thinking the guy thinks like he does.. makes sense?.. i think you know what im trying to say..
my last bf was the same!! he would accuse me every chance he got of cheating and would get mad if i spoke to anyone.. then i found out that HE was the one that was cheating!! he was using his hurtful words to justify himself !!
perhaps you can talk to him and ask him if he talks to women.. and what he thinks about it.. maybe he wont be 100% truthful with you but its worth a try.. in the meantime i wouldnt worry too much sweetee.. as long as YOU know you arent doing anything wrong.. thats enough.. let him rant on about what he imagines.. i hope all works out for you both.. :)
A
female
reader, Aunty Em  +, writes (1 September 2008):
 Your husband needs to step in to this century and realise women are no longer beneath him, that they are no longer less than persons who can be done with as he pleases. He is being entirely unfair and cruel towards you. I do hope you'll give him a good kick up the arse for this kind if treatment. And, maybe deliver some sort of ultimatum to show him how serious you are about being hurt by these unjustifiable names.
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