A
female
age
41-50,
*eckysweets
writes:I am so devastated my husband of three months has been cheating on me. I found emails were he has gone back and forth discussing price etc.the woman was a hooker on Craigslist. He tells me this is the only one but it still doesn't make it better. I have shared the emails with all of his family and told his mom what he has done. I has apologized profusley but I want anwers. He seen this whore three times. I have have her number and put it all over the internet that she's a whore on those number info sites.I have also been flagging all her ads on craigslist and I've called her at least 20 times within the past week since I got her number.I don't know if I can forgive him.I want to choke him! How could he have a trashy piece of crap like that in my bed. am I wrong for wanting to take revenge on him? were do I direct my anger. I'm so confused! Even thought she's scum I'm still curious about details and can't stop askin him about their time togather.I have told all his friends and want to expose him. I want to expose her too. I have left seevral ,essages for her to call me back but her being the coward she is has ignored me and now blocked my number. were do I start to rebuild my life with him or should I?
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escort, revenge, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): What you do to your husband is up to you. But the hooker in question....yes you may be angry at her but all she is doing is offering a service that your husband CHOSE to partake in. There is no reason to expose her, get revenge on her or anything similar. You may hate her, but she didn't do anything wrong. For all you know she may be a single mother simply trying to pay the bills to keep a roof over her kid's head. Leave her alone!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): Hi
why all the advices are like revenge for revenge or ex fro ex cheat for cheat or punish for mistakes.
what about giving him a warning ?
were you a virgin? ask your self do not answer it here?
or
Did you never made any mistake in life?
So my advice will be to confront him, warn him and give him some time to correct him and then decide.
My feeling is that he will stop this soon.
it is just that before the marriage stuff which is carrying on and he will end it.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (7 April 2010):
 It seems like sex addiction is the excuse du jour for infidelity and bad behavior, doesn't it?
Good for you for deciding to leave him. His issues are too deep for you to solve and you don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering who or what he's doing when you are not around.
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A
female
reader, Beckysweets +, writes (6 April 2010):
Beckysweets is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for the advice. I'm leaving him. I just can't handle this. He said he did this before I met his too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): Why would you want to be with a man that slept or sleeps with another women, and that he paid for it. What does that say about him. Seriously.
Can you really forgive him and open yourself up again.
How about even to sleep with him again knowing he paid to sleep with someomne else. thats a lot to take in and for YOU not him to deal with.
Just ask yourself is it worth it and if it is I hope he doesnt do it again to you. I am sure you already feel stupid but to fall into it again. Thats a big blow to take.
Without trust there is no Love. And you may love him with all your heart but if you cant trust him then that love will fade.
Good luck xo
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): I am really sorry for that. I can imagine how you must be feeling. At this time it will be very dificult for you to make a rational decision because you are very emotional. You need a little time to start thinking straight, more with your head than heart. if he is a sex addict and you decide to stay with him, you should be ready to have this kind of behaviour more often because thats what he is. At the end of the day, you need to do what make you happy. Its hard to leave someone you love, but in this case, i would leave him if i were you. I wouldnt even bother the woman because the problem is your husband, not her. Thats her job and she has nothing personal against you, even though what she does affects you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): Im so sorry this has happened to you. Its a terrible way to have to start married life with the man you love. I feel you are wasting your time and energy being angry with the woman. To her its just a job. No emotional involvement at all. She doesnt care about him or you. Focus on your husband. I have a feeling this behaviour of his, didnt start within the last 3 months. He may be addicted to prostitutes and sex. Start there and find out if that is correct. If so and you want to rescue your marriage get him off to counselling. If hes not responsive to that idea or you dont want the cost and trouble involved then leave him now before things get even worse x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): It's plain to see that your head and rationale thought blinded by your heart here. And until you get there, you will be playing out this drama with your husband and this woman, he cheated with. This is the confusion, the lost and lonely place you are at, right now. You need to begin thinking with your head. Stop asking him for details..that is making feel the pain. You know what they did. Stop blaming her and stop being so willing to hang onto this man.
You are going after this other woman with a vengenance. You want her to pay. You blame her because you are still willing to take this uncaring, weak husband back. And let's face it, as long as your heart is engaged by wanting him to stay with you, you will always blame this other woman for his lack of character.
He's a cheating cad. He was supposed to be committed and a good, loving husband to you. Unfortunately, he was never into this marriage to begin with because if he was really yours, no other woman could come between you.
Stay calm, think carefully. Go find a good lawyer, take time to heal recover and look after yourself. You did not deserve this. And he doesn't deserve you. Good luck and be strong.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 April 2010):
 Don't expose her. In her line of work,you'd be helping promote her business and providing her free advertisement.I'd rather ran to my ob/gyn and get checked for STDS.Then, I'd try -just for this time- to forgive your husband. Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has foolish whims and impulses that sometime go out of control. Young people is sensitive to peer pressure- maybe he has friends who have or boast this kind of adventures and he just wanted to be one of the guys.Anyway,make clear that you'll just forgive him ONCE. Everybody deserves a second chance - but no more than that.
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A
female
reader, Beckysweets +, writes (6 April 2010):
Beckysweets is verified as being by the original poster of the questionKaren,
Thanks for the answer. No I do not live in a state were you can sue for that. I've heard of that but she's not a mistress just s whore. Can you sue a whore for alienation of affection?
I have to get checked again because theres a window period for HIV. I don't know if I can leave him. He says he has a sex addiction. Once a cheat always a cheat...I don't know.Maybe I should give him another shot? I still ove him so much and my heart is crushed.
He said he saw her becasue she was easy access (no pun intended) no relationship worries and it was convenient.
I don't think I should sue her thought. I know it sounds morbid but she was just doing her "job" as disgusting as it is. I have called her non stop and told her she's should kill herself and she's pure trash! I hate her. I told him if I caught them in the act they both would have been in a world of hurt!
I still don't know what to do
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A
male
reader, bOROi  +, writes (6 April 2010):
His action is completely wrong, whether you have been married for 3 days or 30 years, but of course its much harder to believe that after 3 months marriage he is already on the prowl. Its 3 months because thats the time time it took you to find out, maybe he had been on it since the first day of your marriage!!!! give him the boot!!!!
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