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female
age
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anonymous
writes: What could be wrong with my husband ,and what am I suppose to do? I;m in my late forties, looking 30 something ,taking care of myself... But my husband just does not care about me,as a sexual being. I m totally frustrated, because I just don't get it. He is healthy, and his doctor didnt find anything wrong with him. He used to be so sexual, I could not keep up with him. He says ,He wants me to be his wife for ever. We have children ,who are grown ups,and we could enjoy each other like love birds. But instead of that,I just cry to my pillow, and think about it what is going on? He will not say more,as we discussed this million times.What should I think,or do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010): Take a look at this question and the answers about hormones. It is very similar to what you are going through.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-husband-wont-touch-me-what-should-i.html
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010): dear Laura!''If one day , you suddenly discovered that you are afflicted with some kind of sickness where you find sex is very painful, would you expect your husband to leave you for someone else? What would be your feelings?''Of course I wouldnt think of leaving him, if I would know he has an illness... It would be very cruel, it is the main thing,that I dont know what it is.. If I would know I would feel 50% better. Can you understand that? Thanks for answering
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 February 2010):
 Having ED for a man can cause him psychological problems. He feels that he is no longer a man and he will be stressed out , anxious, depressed,guilty,having low self esteem , lack of confidence and indifference.
It is not that he isn't interested sexually with you but he fears that he will not be able to satisfy you .
He needs more understandings,kindness, patience and love and that you can still enjoy sex without the penetration part.
It is a physical and psychological illness and needs treatment. He did not asked for it but it is very unfortunate for you that he has ED.
Today many men have ED due to the stressful working conditions and high work loads imposed on them and also because of age.
Have you tried Cialis, Viagra or Levitra ?
I would like to pose to you a hypothetical question.
If one day , you suddenly discovered that you are afflicted with some kind of sickness where you find sex is very painful, would you expect your husband to leave you for someone else? What would be your feelings?
reference:-
http://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/guide/ed-psychological-causes
http://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/cialis-viagra-levitra-treat-ed
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010): It sound very sad to leave a marriage,because of that! I hope you will find some ways to deal with this. Good luck?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010):
I think ,if he does not tell you why is that, you have a reason to be worried and suspicious. Sometimes,there is no better way, than draw the line . You protect yourself from betrayal, and suffering. Make sure ,it is not a game he plays. Take care!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010): Yes, I know, I might end up leaving ,and this is the worst thought. I know it would be so painful, and so big, to deal with. This is why I'm trying everything to avoid this. I would accept this easier,if I would know why. But Im afraid,maybe it would be very disrespectful to me. I mean, it would feel crazy,to never have sex again with your own husband.I wish ,if there would be some good solution to this.
He does have E.D. But it is hard to say why. As he has no medical problems. But I think,its because he has no sexual desire. What else can I think?
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A
female
reader, sunshineangel197  +, writes (24 February 2010):
i totally get this one ive lived with this man for 6 years a year in to relationship sex totally stoped no matter what i tried you got to ask are u willing to live without sex from now .
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 February 2010):
He may have erectile dysfunction and not want to say anything to you. You need to take a chance and tell him that unless things change, you will have to leave. And you need to mean it. Because if things don't change you'll end up leaving anyway, and sometimes men need a shock to get them into action again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): I am so sorry you are going through this- I know exactly how you feel- I am 23 and I havent had sex with my husband ever- I am still a virgin as he too is not into me sexually.
I really do not know what can be done, I imagine you have tried everything- talking to him about it, setting up sexy dinner dates, trying to seduce him and what not but he wont listen. Trust me, I have been there!
I think the best thing to do in this case is to just see if he is a good husband, clearly as you have been married for all this time and you havent said anything bad about him other than the no sex part, then he must be. Best to just appreciate his good points and love him. Sometimes relationships are about sacrifice- and you might have to sacrifice being sexual for the other good aspects of your relationship.
Maybe you could bond together in other, less intimate ways. My husband and I have great conversations, play games and go out for coffee, have nice dinners watch films etc.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (24 February 2010):
Perhaps he has Erectile Dysfunction and is too embarassed to admit it. You need to tell him you dont feel he wants you any more so you are considering a separation so you can think about what you want for your life. If he keeps saying he loves you forever just say great but let's separate for a month to work this thing out.
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