A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Right, me and my ex went out for 2 years, the relationship started turning sour and towards the end i started to perform in drink, then in the end i told close friends at a party that i didn’t love her no more and this friend approached her in toilet and told her to her face and she was crying and everything, i was so drunk and upset over our problems that i said it in confidence as i was so confused, well a mental argument ensued and we split up and she went of with som1 else that night and slept with him, i found out the next day after confronting her..Well we split, then after a few weeks i got back together with her ashamed of my part in making her feel so worthless and unwanted by confiding in another woman and feel my own part in that night and her finding comfort in someone else.But the hangover from her sleeping with someone else ate away at me and we split for four months, but kept in contact but got back again for a month before i kicked of with being insecure in drink again. So we have been split up for a year and now the last month we have been hanging out every occasion we have had, films in my house, food out etc. Nothing has been said about us talking but i offered to take her out for valentines and she said yes, but then got ill on day and we spent night watching films at mine instead.Nothing has happened between us expect a bit of playing about and cuddling, she stayed over a few times but nothing happened as it just didn’t feel right in myself, but i still think i love her, i know i love her deep down but not like i did before, we were first loves. Well she moved house now and wanted me to stay night as she was on her own that night, so i did, we shared a bed, but alas nothing was happening, part of me is scared to try anything as im still hung up over here, so i felt very uncomfortable and just made my excuses in morning and left, then phoned her to tell her it getting weird and i don’t know what to do. I text her then saying that i still love her on some level but not like before and part of me wants to get back etc, and she said a relationship is the last thing on her mind and that she loves me and thinks im an amazing person and a really good friendI said i don’t know if i want to be friends as its bringing up old feelings between us, i just so confused and don’t know what do, ive told her i want to remain friends and that i want her in my life in some way as i really do get on with her, i just don’t know what to do, do i stay friends and maybe hope we may get back in future or just stay friends and try that avenue as i really like her as a person and don’t want to live without her, HELP Im scared to be full on with her and show her my true feelings over fear of getting hurt, i beat around the bush and then bottle it up, so confused
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female
reader, charmzx5  +, writes (26 February 2010):
 well that is one thing you should never tell a girl is that you don't love them because that is one thing that will remain in there mind and i don't know if you kno this but, it will hurt there feels to sometimes...girls like me tend to act as if what boys say doesn't hurt them but, truth be told it really does and it matters even more if the girl likes the guy.The reason you ex had sex with another guy that night and addmited it was because she wanted to try to set you off her mind and to have another guy inorder to get over you so she did that by having sex with another guy and she addmitted it because she wanted you to feel bad and have regrets(which her plan is working right now).You should tell her that what you said that night about you not loving her was a mistake you was drunk and was not thinking...and tell her you really do love her and if she wants you to prove it then you will and if she felt the same way about you then she would give you another chance if not as a boy friend then as a friend i know it's going to kill you inside to be her friend and seen her face and know the limits are high as a friend but, some times in life you have to do what is best for both of you(By:Dayna,Age:15)
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