A
female
age
41-50,
*rsloney
writes:I found out my husband is gay a while back but although i moved out we were still very close and we have 5 children one who is disabled, but 3 weeks ago my brother turned up and they started a relationship straight away and moved in together! I still love my husband even though he says that there is no chance we will get back together, he still loves me more than I will ever know... but he loves my brother also, I feel so confused because he wants things to stay the same before my brother turned up. How can I because I love him and feel betrayed by both of them, it is too close for comfort. They say what goes on in their house is nothing to do with me, that nothing needs to change in my house, am I being un-reasonable ?
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disabled, get back together, moved in, moved out Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): Your husband is an as.h..e and your brother. I hope you can get over this. It sound like a very difficult time for you. I am gay and my sisters boyfriends have hit upon me , but I refused. If you can in time leave the two of them together, it wont last, gay relationhsips never do. I have been dumped by my ex. The hottest of love can the coldest of endings. Its tough getting over someone, I do not think I will ever get over this relationship. I will never fall again, your story with many others puts me of people and relationhsips.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009): good for you. welcome to the start of the rest of your life.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (22 May 2009):
 good for you stay strong and dont let that user play his violin even once, you deserve a good future!
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A
female
reader, mrsloney +, writes (22 May 2009):
mrsloney is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would just like to say Thank you to those who replied, it was so good to feel that i was not being un reasonable and i have been to see a family lawyer and i have a very good case to keep the children with me on the grounds they have been with me for over 6 months.
Thank you all again
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): these two have no respect for you. your husband is a *astard. he is shameful, despicable, creep.
he has robbed you of your life. why is he shacked up with your brother?
you need to clense your life from both of them. when i say clense i mean plse get away from them both. your kids will be traumatised by this just as you have been.
if your hubby is gay and you have accepted it, great. just as long as he is not f*cking your brother. there is nothing wrong with being gay but there is something seriously wrong to marry a female and pretending to be straight then all of a sudden confessing to being gay. and making 5 babies with her!!
that bullshit that nothing has to change is just that. crap. you need to run far away from these two BUT you need to put your hb firmly in his place. it is wrong for him to give you mixed signals, this love thing going on between you two is just not on. i am sorry to tell you this - he is not inlove with you, he does not love you. he used you to hid his true sexuality. he will continue using you until you get smart and banish him from your life. he still needs to account for the 5 kids though, so let him pay financially.
as for the bro' - well just ignore his existence. what these two f*cking men is doing to you is decpicable. they are emotionally torchering you and emotionally abusing you.
unreasonable- hell no. you are so too kind to them. you cannot do wnything to your brother but boy oh boy your hb, well now you need to get some revenge. report him to social services, humiliate him , just as he has done to you.
you say you love him. it's time to move on. its time to end this nightmare with him. you are leaglly seperated. it's time to start talking divorce. your hb is stealing from you. by not divorcing you he is not fully providing for you and you are not being entitled to your financial settlement. your hb gets the best of both world- his wife and his wife's brother.
i am just so angry about this. being gay is not the real issue here. it is his abuse of you that makes me boil.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (18 May 2009):
sorry to be sweary but i have never read a post that has made me this angry yet! what a nasty selfish pair of cowardly men.
shame on those men. they'll get their comeupance though
best of luck
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (18 May 2009):
this is an example of people doing whatever they FEEL like and justifying it by claiming that their behaviour doesn't affect others. well judging by how upset you are i'm pretty sure it HAS affected others, not to mention an unkle destroying a family. this has happened too fast for it to be unplanned.
speak to social services, why did you move out and now your brother has moved in. get that nasty shamefull excuse for a relative out and the husband find another place. if your bringing up the kids you should have the home and if they think that they're gonna get the kids more fool them. speak to a lawyer and social services. visit your GP and get counselling NOW.
what a horrible pair. i would NEVER have a relationship with a relative (let alone a sibling) of someone i claimed to love.
stop letting hurt dominate you and start getting angry, its the next step towards the far off island known as moving on from this heinous pair.
good luck and get your house back from those arseholes!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): I dont know about all the religious sides of things but I do know this; The man had SEX with your BROTHER. That is despicable and unforgivable. You need to pick yourself up sweetie and move on. And when you start dating again, make sure you tell him this "what goes on in my house is none of your business". As far as your relationship with your brother. Yes he is blood so you love him. But if i were in your place, it would take alot of time, distance, and soul searching before I could start to forgive. I am sorry that this happened to you. I wish you luck..J
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): arie please stop with the bible crap, im tired of people saying the being a homosexual is against god, you are pretty much saying that all Homosexuals are going to hell, i do agree with the other stuff you said, but please stop saying its against the bible, oh and also Tons of other religions came before Christianity
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A
female
reader, arie  +, writes (18 May 2009):
 no u are not being unreasonable. u need to divorce him, first because he already betrayed your vows and second because he is dating a guy which is against the bible, he betrayed your trust, what kind of brother would do that to you anywayz, this sounds like some jerry springer type stuff, well anywayz you just need to take your kids and leave cuz he aparantely does not care, he may love you but not enough if he is seeing your own family. im sure you are a very nice woman and u need to stand up and kick him to the curve. he does not love you because if he did he should have been fighting tooth and nail for you sweety. um keep god first in your life and i hope things change for you, godbless
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