A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was shocked by what I found around the house when I woke up this morning. There were a lot of prayer books and a copy of the Koran (is that how you spell it??) lying around, plus some other Islamic literature.I asked my husband why there was Islamic literature in our house, seeing as we're not Muslim, and he said to me "I'm converting to Islam, my friend suggested I should, it's a good thing, maybe you should do so too!"Yet my husband doesn't dress Islamic - still wears a suit to work every day. He has however, given up drinking alcohol, and has stopped socialising, which i find really weird.I've had to accept it for his sake, but he's now crossed the line by trying to get me to convert.I don't want to convert, not because I have anything against Muslims, but because religion is not important to me.My husband insists it will be good for both of us, how do I discuss this with him properly since he is ignoring me??
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): He can't force you to convert.
The reason for his not socialising and ignoring you , is not islamic reason. There are too much misconception about islam. You should try to know what islam really is.
A
male
reader, silenceofdestiny  +, writes (20 June 2009):
Islam is a religion that you have to accept yourself first not because your hubby wants to. If he reads Qur'an well he will know that he cant force you to change your religion. and also there is no proper dressing for muslims they ca wear whatever they want. Forcin someone to become a muslim is a big sin.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): To be honest all the advice people give can sway you but at the end of the day its your choice to make.
As a wife you should stand by your husband and support him in his ideas. Islam is a beautiful religion and teaches about nothing but peace.
As a woman you have the right to adhere to your own thoughts feelings and principals.
I hope you sort things out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Ask him the reasons for exactly why he feels that Islam is the religion to go for, and which friend told him to
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2009): talkk to him
read about islam and if you still feel this way he will listen to you because you gave it a try
PS- islam is a great religon and he could still wear a suit or what ever
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A
female
reader, kathy255  +, writes (30 April 2009):
I don't have much to say except stay true to yourself. Don't change any part of yourself because of the person your with. The best part of being with someone is being able to be yourself and not being someone different.
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A
male
reader, No Second Best  +, writes (29 April 2009):
Everyone is being very kind with their answers, the truth is that any clear thinking, well grounded & happy person would think this is wierd behaviour. Your husband sounds like a bit of a space cadet to be honest.
If he's searching for meaning tell him to go buy a backpack and you'll see him when he's discovered who he is.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): I am a muslim woman and do not agree that Islam does not treat woman equally. Go back into histroy and you will learn that islam gave woman more equality that western culture.Islam is a way of life. Islam condone any violence against woman, its the mans responsibility to look after his kids and wife, she cooks out her good nature - its not her responsibility. These are just some little things that islam gives a woman to show her dignity and respect. Islam also teaches basic cleanliness.
You do not have to convert , just try and understand his request and show interest in what he is learning and support him. Whether you convert or not should be your decision and explain to him that that him becoming a muslim should know that Islam gives a woman freedom to think for heself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): Dear sister
I hope you are fine.
I have put up a link below. It contains information, electronic books and websites that provide a better understanding of Islam, by conveying the right concepts in a variety of languages. It aims to provide the true teachings of Islam to Muslims, new Muslim converts and non-Muslims.
It corrects the misconceptions and wrong stereotypes associated with Islam; due to ignorance, misinformation and incorrect assumptions.
http://theradiantlight.blogspot.com/
I hope its useful. Take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): I think this is a very selfish act for him to do. This is a very big lifestyle change and he has not discussed it with you - his wife! Has he always been like that, or is this a new personality trait which he has developed from the religion? Remember Islam is ruled by selfish men who dictate to women. (Just before people start branding me with fire, I am NOT a relgious person - this is a statement of fact. Women are not treated equally in this religion, which is something I personally do not agree with). I think you need to consider the implications this may have on YOUR life - how stictly is he going to adhere to his new religious convictions. Remember that in Islamic society women do not have as many rights as they do in other religions, or most of westernised society and that the man is always right. If he has already stopped going out and socialising will he expect you to do the same if you convert? Also what about the veil? Would you be prepared to cover your head and your face when in the company of other men? If he starts soclising with other devout muslims, you will not be allowed to do a hell of a lot if you are in their company. The other poster is right to mention Sharia law - this brings a huge amount of complications and lack of personal free will for the part of the woman. I think this is a very serious issue, as his beliefs could impact on you in a much harder way than him. You need to talk to him and find out why he has suddenly decided this, and what he expectes from you. Only then can you decide how you can find a happy medium in your relationship. Please dont let him dictate to you. If this is not what you want, then do not let him bully you. Good luck xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): I'd want to talk to his spiritual advisor. I think we're all aware that there are various interpretations of Islam out there. Some of those versions don't exactly celebrate 'liberated' women. Talk to whichever Imam is behind this change in your husband -- get a sense of how the Imam sees a woman's place in the world, and a wife's place in the home. Those will be crucial things as you move forward.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): I would like to tell you something to clear things up,I am Muslim who has studied in Islamic schools, and want to insure you that he is not allowed to push you to convert and even if you don’t convert your marriage is 100% valid as long as you are Christian or Jewish.Secondly there is nothig as Islamic cloths, I am a Muslim and I well always put on modern suites and westren cloths when I am on the west thought I can put on middle eastren cloths when I am in the middle east. Men in islam are only obliged to cover from their belly button dwon to their knee.And tell him to be aware that the wahabi understanding to Islam is very strict and oftenly mix between nomadic and bedouin traditions and Islam, and simply tell him if he want to understand Islam in a very realistic way the harominze between real modern and westren life and docotrines that he'd better read the ((messages of light)) that were Written by a Turkish scholar called (( annawrasy ))All the best
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 April 2009):
 I believe your religion is a matter that belongs to yourself. If he wants to convert to Islam, which is as respectable a religion as any, that is his right, but, by the same principle, he can't ask you to convert, too. He must know by now that you are not religious and has to respect that.
I'm afraid, however, that newly converted people (of all religions) tend to be very strongly religious, so you need to think in advance and draw a line in the sand, letting him know in advance that he is not supposed to cross it. For example, he can't ask you to give up your friends and social life.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (26 April 2009):
 Isn't qua'ran spelt like this? Just out of intrest? And why don't you try it for like a month to see what he is going through, not a permanent conversion, just a trial. You may learn a lot!x
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (26 April 2009):
 Religion is a very sensitive subject and everybody has their own take on it. So you must talk.
You say all this happened this morning? That's not much time for you to "have to accept" his new religious choice. Apologise about being insensitive towards his views, and ask him about Islam, and what his views on Sharia law, the Koran and to what level is he planning to practice his new found faith.
If you have concerns about his views you must tell him about it, if you don't want to convert, then don't and if he can't accept that (which I'm sure he will as he married you and therefore loves you), you may have to think about where your relationship is going.
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female
reader, mint +, writes (26 April 2009):
 just pull him to one side and force him to listen to yuu tell him dt yuu do not feel the same and dt u will support him buh nt do the same thing
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): Forgot to mention we're both white, in case race came up as an issue.
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