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My husband is addicted to anniseed balls and beer!

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 March 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 4 March 2009)
A female Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My husband has started to become addicted to food, in particular, aniseed balls and beer... he can't start the day without them.

Wherever he goes, he has to take aniseed balls and beer with him (or if driving, a diet Coke!).

He's showed no interest in anything else in his life other than eating and drinking, and has started to develop a beer belly and become indolent. All he seems to want to do apart from work (which he loves!) is either watch reality shows on telly on his day off from work (Friday), go out for a drive with me or eat out to restaurants.

I've made an effort to remedy the situation, cooking healthy meals, trying to get him to go the gym, but he just refuses, instead claiming that he has a right to eat. He says he can eat what he wants and that I was being "a controlling woman"!

He wasn't obese when I met him; he was 6ft tall and very wiry. 5 years later, we have a son who's in primary school.

My husband doesn't appear to be depressed, but why is he so unenthusiastic about everything?

I'm concerned, I don't want to become a single mum in 10-20 years time.

I've tried to help my husband, but feel like I'm getting nowhere, and am stressed out.

This doesn't feel right at all; what should I or can I do?

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A female reader, wonderingcat United Kingdom +, writes (4 March 2009):

wonderingcat agony auntFoods (and drinks) to some can be used to "comfort" their feelings, In other words, food (and drinks) are used to substitute something that is missing, or to fill a void, to supress a feeling, in some people.

Was there something drastic that occured in your family? Or his? Think back a few years when he started to take his comfort foods/drinks.

You have every right to want him to be there with you and your child, for the rest of your life. But, dieting and exercising may not be enough if the underlying cause is psychological. If you cannot find out what it is, perhaps a visit to an analyst or therapist may help.

Good luck.

Cat

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A female reader, jessica04 United States +, writes (3 March 2009):

jessica04 agony auntI think you need to seek counseling for him. I don't want to say that he has an outright eating disorder (I don't know enough to qualify him for binge eating or bulimia), but you need some professional help that can maybe open his eyes.

Take him to a nutritionist who can run some blood work to show him the dangerous levels he is reaching in his body. They will be better able to strike the fear of God into him.

In very extreme cases, you can put him on an allowance and pack his lunches so he cannot eat junk. I don't know exactly who is in charge of finances or groceries. But I think staging a mini-intervention will serve him best.

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