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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been married for 4 years, I am 26 yrs of age and I am 4 months pregnant with my third baby. I seem to be having a lot of problems with my husband. He works long hours and I understand that he probably gets tired but it seems to be his excuse for everything. Over the last few months he has begun ignore me completely. He will leave the room when I try to have a normal conversation with him as if I am not in the room or he cannot hear me. I have confronted him but he doesn't care. The problem is getting worse, he doesn't come near me, he is doesn't help with kids and hass not been affectionate in bed for a very long time. What worries me is that after all these problems I really don't even want to sleep in the same bed as him (I feel that unconfortable around him). But he came over to me a few days ago and slept with me while I was asleep even though I kept saying no, that I wasn't interested. He didn't physically hurt me but I didn't want to? I'm stuck I just don't know what to do. Please help?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2005): Given my own experience, you should start checking for some form of infidelity - phone bills, internet chat rooms, etc. A personality change raises that sort of red flag. Sorry to be so pessimistic, but it might also explain his objectification of you during the forced-sex episode.
A
female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (9 November 2005):
 I am sorry to hear about your situation. Your husband is obviously going through something, you have to understand that what ever problem he is facing it is not your fault. If you are trying to have a conversation with him, do not let him ignore you, get up and follow him if you have to. You have the right to be respected and heard. In the end it is all up to you, how much are you willing to take? If you believe that your love together is strong enough to make it through this then ask him to attend counseling with you, if it is important to you it should be important to him. You are bringing another child into your family, it is not fair to you or any of your children to have that family be a miserable one. If he won't try to fix the problems with you then you may need to get out.
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A
female
reader, lillaum  +, writes (8 November 2005):
 Hi there
Your husband has no right to sleep with you if you do not want him to. It doesn't matter if he hurt you physically or not! This is a serious problem. It is likely to get worse if not sorted out. To be honest I dont really have any advice for you. apart from suggesting that you seek help from a close friend or relative.
From women to women though, Take care of yourself. You deserve to be treated with respect. You should be looked after by your husband pregnant or not, but being pregnant just makes your husband more in the wrong.
All the best, Good Luck
Lillaum
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