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female
,
anonymous
writes: I just need some advice because I am so stuck. I have a boyfriend who is twice my age. I recently told my Dad about it and he is not happy at all. I am very close with my family, but my boyfriend makes me so happy. He makes me feel confident and good about myself - I have a very low self esteem, but he makes me forget that. This is my first relationship and I've never felt so loved and needed. But its really upsetting my Dad and making him say things that are really hurting me, however good his intentions are of "protecting me". If I go ahead with the relationship, I may lose my Dad. If I stop the relationship, i will hurt my boyfriend ever so badly and may not have the same relationship as I used to with my father. I may even be making a mistake by breaking up with my boyfriend, because I'm not entirely sure if I will ever be as loved and respected for who I am like that again. Please someone tell me...what do I do? This is killing me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi again. Thank you to those who wrote in response to my situation. It is now 3 years on since I wrote my comment...and the situation is still pretty much the same. I am still so stuck I just dont know what to do.
This man I spoke of and I actually broke up in October 2006...but it wasnt before long that we started to miss each other again. My family know that I go out with him every now and then as friends and that we are still friends...but it's still been more than that. His family are still fine about us being together...and I just wish my family were as understanding. I love my family very much, but I dont think I can go through the same thing of hurting them again and saying that I still care about this man.
What kills me is that I know of two couples who are my friends with a large age gap between them....one couple have 16 years between them and I was recently their bridesmaid and another couple have about 20 years between them, and they are still together and are very happy. I do not know, maybe my family are right and this relationship is a bad move...but I'd like to see that for myself rather than being told straight out it wont work. I'm still so stuck and I am so SO depressed.
A
female
reader, Natalie Sampson +, writes (14 November 2005):
Hi,I work as a researcher for the Trisha Goddard programme on C5. We are looking to speak to people in an age gap relationship who are experiencing a negative reaction from their families and loved ones. We would be looking to try and help their families understand and come to terms with it. Even if you have some views you would like to share then please give me a call on 01603 281003.Thanks.Natalie SampsonResearcherTown House Television
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A
male
reader, pall4all +, writes (9 November 2005):
dear, it is not the problem you are facing alone, me as the same have same problem, my girls friends father doesnt like me and i m 14 years older than her. it is said that love doesnt see the age, any ways,i must say take an exam of your boy friend and then make a choice, if he really loves you, ask his wishes, his point of views thinking about your future,your desires,wishes that how he treats and feels about you in his life,for his life.will he be able to give you protaction,sincearity,love unconditionally ,if you think its all you need,then be with him and take permission from your father to marry with him, or dont think for any one who doesnt think of you, even dont trust any one more than youself, Good luck
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A
male
reader, Calidus +, writes (8 November 2005):
Well, first let me say, its very honorable that you told your father, as well as curagious, that isnt something alot of women could tell their fathers.
No real advise can be given i guess, if he makes you feel that good about yourself keep him, try and talk to your dad about it, maybe introduce your man to him, maybe he'll see how happy he makes you and accept him, or at least be happy that he makes you happy.
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