A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My story goes like this: I'm married for 10 years and is blessed with 3 kids (2 boys and a girl). My husband has no job so I am the breadwinner of the family. I have a nice paying job that I can even support the vices of my husband which is gambling every weekend and sometimes even on weekdays which makes him come home as late as 3am, his smoking habit of 2 packs a day and a few bottles of beer at night. In return, he cooks breakfast and lunch.Problems started when my sister who lives with us notified me that somebody withdrew money from her ATM account and she suspected my husband for doing it. My other sister who also came to visit us for a week also complained that some amount was also missing in her ATM account. My husband knew their pin codes as they would request him sometimes to withdraw money for them as they trusted him so much. My eldest sister also lost her gold bracelet when she spent a night in our home and months after that, I got a notice from a pawnshop that the bracelet my husband pawned needs to be redeemed. Aside from these theft activities by my husband, my sisters in different occasions also experienced abuse from him. My sister who lives with us one night woke up with my husband trying to kiss her lips. She said my husband didn't insist to go on kissing her after she pushed him. My eldest sister also had a bad experience with him, she was surprised one morning to see my husband lying beside her and trying to hold her. The last incident was with my youngest sister, when we went home to my parents house to celebrate fiesta. My youngest sister sleeping in our library, as rooms were all occupied woke up with my husband touching her breast. She run and locked herself in the toilet very scared and crying. All of these things were confided to me by my sisters after me and my husband had a big fight about money. They are suggesting that I end up my marriage as I have a daughter to protect and I am not happy with him anymore. He is with his family for 4 months now since our big fight, he said he is looking for a job. My kids are with me and we seem OK even without him. I am seeking for advice on what should I do. I also want to be fair with him. I am 35 years old and he is 2 years younger. My eldest son is 10, my only girl is 9 and my youngest is 4.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 September 2010):
 I really hope that you can be brave enough to walk away from this man, you deserve so much better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear Dirtball and Aunt Honesty,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on my situation. I really appreciate your advice and I think following your suggestion to stay away from this man is the right track.
But then, I need to think about this over and over again.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (24 September 2010):
 I would suggest getting a divorce. He's a cheater. Who thinks it's a good idea to try and get sexual with their wife's sister? Nobody worth marrying that's for sure! If he's trying this with your sisters, he's most likely had affairs outside the family as well.
His gambling, stealing, lying, and cheating should be more then enough for you to walk away. Not to mention the fact that he has no job. How much of your money has he squandered? Think about a total over the years. Think of what that could have been used for. I would venture that it could likely pay for at least one of your children's schooling. What an absolute waste.
IF you decide to give him another chance I would recommend doing a few things first.
1. Change bank accounts and DO NOT give him any access. He gets an allowance and NOTHING more.
2. Set a curfew. After all, his drinking, smoking and gambling are setting a horrible example for your children. What if they want to grow up to be just like papa?
3. Let him know that if you get even one whif of another attempt at another woman your relationship is over.
Please don't try convincing yourself that he has been faithful. He has tried cheating on you with 3 of your sisters, complete with the sexual assault of one of them. He has had an outside affair, I'd bet every penny I have on it.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (24 September 2010):
I really think you need to stay away from this man, if not for your sake then for your children. He is treating you really badly the way he has acted with your sisters and stealing there money is really wrong. I think you should end your marriage and you and your children will have a happier home, maybe you could even get some counceling as this must be so hard on you. You never no after a while you may might a nice man who deserves you. Hope all goes well.
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