A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I don't how to change the way I feel! My husband works in a large field office with both males and females. Many of the women he works with are just average, married, middle-aged etc. But he gravitates toward the women half his age and those are the ones he tends to form "friendships" with. It's mildly annoying to me because more than once a few of them have "gotten the wrong idea" and thought he was offering more. (Hmmm, wonder where they got that from?) But I'm not allowed to ask questions, otherwise he blows up and we end up in a big fight because he can't just tell me the basics like "Where is she from? What is her story? (I'm always curious about people in general) "What is her major" etc. Today when I got home from work he mentioned he had taken one of the young (female) interns out in the field (alone) to work on a project. I walked off an started dinner without asking any questions. But I am fuming inside! I don't know what makes me more angry A) That he has to always pick the young, single females to do his projects with and never any of the guys. B) In the past when I have asked something about one of the interns like "That curly haired girl was really nice. What is her name? He will reply, "The one with the big boobs?" (And he wonders why I feel insecure?) or C) If it's the fact that I feel shut out since he gets mad if I try to learn who they are. It's not like I've ever accused him of anything, but if I'm left to form my own opinion it always has disasterous results! I've told him time and time again, if he can just answer a few questions, it'll probably put my mind at ease. What is up with that? Has anyone else had this problem?
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female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (11 July 2012):
 Pepper's right, you do need to turn this around. He almost seems to be enjoying it, doesn't he? But like she said, once you're out enjoying your life and your time, he'll be the one asking the questions. Do treat him the same way as he's been treating you, because some people need to learn the hard way.
The more attention you put towards him and his work shenanigans, the more it's going to drive you insane. You need to put your mind elsewhere.
Also, not to scare you or anything like that, but keep alert and make sure these friendships are just that. Don't allow yourself to be blindsided if something more is going on.
A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (11 July 2012):
 N if u need a chat msg me hun xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (11 July 2012):
Hi hunny
You know what I would do? Id completely ignore his foolish behaviour, It sounds like he gets enjoyment from your worry...You need to turn things around ....
You need to get your confidence levels up, get some self esteem back..There is a good site for that, just pop in self esteem help and it should give you some good tips....
Now lets assume he isn't going to change, So we need to get you feeling better about you helping you to have more confidence and once you feel better you will be in a much better place to deal with this situation.
I want you to totally concentrate on you....If you can find a hobby and be out a little more i.e the gym maybe start doing things that make you feel good about you....
During this change of behaviour in you, you wont. Ask any questions about his work, if he brings it up just say ' Thats nice' and wander off acting busy....Trust me ok ;-)
At this moment he knows you get hurt and upset and he rubs salt in the wounds as if he likes it....
You get confident you feel better as time goes on you can bet he will be the one asking you questions.....Its not nice to have this happen and sometimes we could ask the obvious questions that a husband should respect as he is not respecting your feelings then we have to find. another route to take, asking and showing it concerns you should be enough to make him think its hurtful but its not....quite the opposite . You need not to be so available not to appear so concerted and start getting you strong....He will then wonder what you are doing and of course don't forget the new make over, That always works a treat....
You can be honest as you will have only got stronger....Then see how things change.....
Take care of you hunny lots of love Pepsi xxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2012): to be completely honest with you, i can see y your feeling insecure. it sounds as though he is being very defensive for no reason. there is an unfortunate saying which i have found to be true and that is ' the guilty run when nobody persues them' if i were you i would keep a very close eye on him. maybe stop asking and talking about his work and colleagues for a while and give him the impression that you are no longer suspicious. if his goal was to make you envious then he will stop coz it no longer works and if he is having affairs then he will grow careless if he thinks you dont suspect him and will get caught.
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