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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have been seeing this guy for 3 months now casually (booty call) and i thought we were both happy with it. i was seeing other people and presumed he was too. he would text me like do you fancy meeting up? always with notice i made this clear because incase he wanted to cancel i still want to have a good time. recently i did not see him for two weeks i presumed he lost interest and thought well it was fun. then at ten at night two nights ago he text me saying 'babe i really miss you , i want to see you, when can i see you?' i replied well i'm out tonight can join if you'd like or another day? told him the bar i was at and said thats where i am turn up or not.he has never called me babe or admitted to missing me previously.he had text me previously asking if we were together or not, i said well the difference is if were just seeing each other i can see whoever i like.he responded with well if were are doing this i would like to see just you, be thoughtful , i will hit any guy who hits on you. i suppose i'm asking you out. what do you want? i didn't repsond. then he showed up, was out with my friend he showed up with his, had a laugh took him back to mine, during sex he asked if i was seeing other people, if we were exclusive. i said well that means you can't see other girls, i will want to see you more and on my off days talk to you, and your happy with that? it's just me are you sure? he said yes and you cant see other guys. i don't want you seeing anyone else babe just me. you are my girl.my question is, we started as a booty call we have been an item 3 years ago, we've both changed. i don't know how much to believe, if he is just keeping me on to not see other people and he can, or if he means us to be exclusive. he hasn't put a label on it but to be honest i don't want one, we've both come out of hard relationships and i'd like to see what happens without a lot of questions from other people but at the same time we are exclusive. it seems daft, complicated, i don't know by his behaviour if we are exclusive or not? if he is just playing me, if he doesn't want to be with me thats cool i would just like to know so i am not fooled.any help appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (16 July 2012):
 Oh and making sure you aren't dating anyone else means you are presumably more available when he decides to call....
"John, I have a busy social life, as you may have guessed, if you want to see me we need to set up firm plans and not this last minute text stuff. That doesn't work for me and the late night texting feels a bit rude, you know, like I'm merely a booty call.
"If we are exclusive and dating, I'd like to go on a proper date. Let's set something up right now."
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 July 2012):
He's doing the bare minimum to keep you on the hook; if he really wanted a full relationship (beyond just some great sex) he'd be asking you out on proper dates. Texting late in the evening means that nothing else has turned up and as he's got you primed to be the backup, he just tries that.
I'd pay no attention to the words that say you two are exclusive and dating and look instead at what constitutes dating for him: a text and a meetup at home. Presumably booty call.
If you want more than that, I would look elsewhere. He's not reliable and he's not really that into in a way that suggests he wants more.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi follow up , he made a date to see me then on the day bailed saying i cant make it, sorry major sucks. i replied with its fine i expected as much, don't worry about it.have a good night.he replied with so what you doing tonight then? i lied said o im going to house party. he said well keep me updated, don't stop texting me want to know how you get on at his party ;) said thanks babe what you up to? he responded just chilling with a friend. you ok?said yeah having good time, nice night.then he said ok il leave you to it, have fun sexy bum.didn't reply then 3 days later at 9 asked if i was free won't lie i was a bit miffed. mainly because he bailed to spend time with a mate? i don't even know if it as a mate. id be less annoyed if he hadn't spun me the crap about wanting to be exclusive. least then i knew where we were.3 days later contact. 9pm what you doing? ignored the text for two hours then again hello? i replied with hey alright? he said yeah can i see you? said im out right now. he was like right i wanted to see you. said should have contacted me earlier join me if you like? or see you soon.he replied like to see you, are you free tomorrow? cinema? i said yeah chilling.come the day after i hear nothing from him till 11 at night 'hey gorgous can i see you soon?' im getting fed up if he was arsed hed be more bothered right?
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