A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so heres the thing.... I just got married in July... and had been seeing my now husband before that for nearly 5 yrs but, sometimes I miss the attention and desire you get from men when you are single. My husband has a friend (not a super close friend, but a friend) (lets call him C) and him and I get along really well. He's been going through a bit of a tough time lately- and I've been his understanding listening friend. He calls me when he needs a friend to talk to, or if he wants someone to vent to. We come from the same kind of background, broken family, we've always been poor but we're trying to better ourselves, whereas my husband has always had everthing he ever wanted. Needless to say, C and I have grown close- and wilst I would have (back in my single days) probably jumped him because he is sexy and charming and everything else- I vowed to myself that I would not do that since I now have a wonderful husband. My problem is now, that my husband voiced his jealousy of our relationship- when nothing was going on but a mere friendship (and maybe a little harmless flirting here and there), and now I feel that much more drawn to C, like he's forbidden fruit or something..... please help.... I love my husband, I just wish he wouldn't have said anything about C, because now I feel like I have to pick between them, and while I know my husband would come out on top, I dont feel like he's being fair...
View related questions:
flirt, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (15 October 2008):
 Please not that as I reread my post I had forgotton to say that from what you wrote you are the one who seems to be drawn here to a single man. The attention that you are getting makes you feel something you might not be feeling about your husband at present. Don't forget why you married him. Getting attention from a handsome, sexy and charming man makes a woman feel desired, sexy and beautiful. While it is ok to feel these things you mustn't loose sight of the fact that you are married and you should be trying to get all these things from the husband. Try to reconnect to the romance you had before you got married.
I also wanted to say I wasn't implying that the man made advances toward you but the comments I made were meaning if you were drawn to him and IF he did make advances that you shouldn't accept them. Again...who do you choose? Always put your husband first. He is your mate and he married you for a reason. Your friend may be just needy and while it feels good to be needed you should distance yourself from him out of respect for your husband. If he is truely your friend he will try to understand and accept your decision.
Best of Wishes always,
Blessings,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (15 October 2008):
You are married. Who should you choose? Your husband of course! The other man may be attentive but you must not accept any advances. He may be a friend to you but if he is making advance toward you he isn't much of a friend to your husband.
You apparently have an attraction to C and even if that is understandable it isn't ACCEPTABLE! My best advice would be to try and be kind but back off from the friendship somewhat or you may find yourself DIVORCED. If C isn't really into you but only giving you attention becuase he is lonely or you have been such a "friend" to him then you may wind up all alone.
Although I will not judge either of you I will say "Beware of a Wolf in Sheeps' Clothing". Sometimes a third party will lust after someone who isn't theirs and will stop at nothing to get it even if they don't really want it in the end. Please don't break your vows, you have hardly had enough time to adjust to being married and marriage is something that takes working at until the end.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (15 October 2008):
 I think you should re-read what you've written. Your husband has lots of reason to be jealous. You've had to make a deal with yourself that you wouldn't do anything with that other guy. You also mention right off the top that you miss attention from other men. Everything you're doing is taking you in the wrong direction. You do see this guy as more than a friend. Do you feel the urge to jump other people. Obviously the attraction is there and your husband sees it. He's no fool.
...............................
|
