A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My problem is that the other evening on a night out with my husbands works colleagues, he admitted to me that he sometimes gave a lift home to one of the office girls "as it is on the way home" now I was most surprised to hear this, as firstly it is not on his way home, it is a long way out and secondly it causes him to get home late, he does not work in the office but does call in there several times a day to collect work, so this is not part of his duties at all, he is not a taxi driver. The girl in question is 21 years of age and from what I gather does not have a boyfriend, I have questioned my husband as to why he would want to give her a lift and the first thing he said to me "there is nothing in it, there is nothing going on" so I said well you won't have a problem quitting doing it then will you. Should I tell him that he is definitely not to give her a lift anymore, what bothers me is that he did not tell me before only on this night out when she was there and he thought that somebody else might tell me, she seems a nice enough girl, but I think it is totally inappropriate for a 50ish man to be giving this young girl a lift home when there is absolutely no need to, my h suffers from fantasies and it has been said by an expert 2 years ago that he is a sex addict, now can you see why it is bothering me,they didn't seem flirty with each other, but were very friendly and he said that they have a dirty joke or two,he also said that he does not fancy her, well I suppose he thinks I should feel lucky then, how would any of you handle this please.
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female
reader, bitch  +, writes (18 October 2009):
He is to NO LONGER give any girl a "lift" home. He cannot do this and say there is nothing going on. He either has something going on or wishes something was going on. Just tell him it is not acceptable and you don't give young men rides home after work and would never consider doing it. Tell him to give you a break, you are obviously not stupid and can read between the lines here. You are so right to tell him that you won't stand for this behavior
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): I am the original poster of the question, I would just like to say to rainorfire that I have never refused my husband sex, it is him that turns me down in favour of his hand, some sex addicts can't get enough, but others, well it is a joke being called a sex addict when they don't have lots of sex with real women, it is more to do with what they watch like porn and satisfying themselves, I have had to deal with this, he assures me that he loves me, he probably does, but his head is full of other women.To "steve s" you hit the nail on the head, No I do not trust him, he has been caught out before trying to offer money to a dancer in one of those clubs to have oral sex with her, luckily she turned him down, his excuse, well of course he was drunk, yeah right, so I do find it hard to trust him and now he is giving lifts home to this young girl, of course I am worried I am not saying that anything has happened but with things like this it is only a matter of time, they are sitting close to each other in a confined space and what do they talk about on these journey's and this closeness to me brings about a familiarity and feelings can develop from that. To the anonymous male I agree that if it is his intention to stray then I cannot stop it, but I do not have to accept it or put up with it, and I would not, he is not the breadwinner I have worked full time all of my life and as we do not have any children he has always come first in my life, but my boundary is and has always been cheating = divorce and my stance on that has never waivered and he knows this so if he thinks it is worth it to bang a tight 20 year old vagina then he should go ahead and have his 2 minutes of pleasure because afterwards he would have a lifetime of regret. To everybody else who replied to me thanks for taking the time.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (17 August 2009):
 there may be nothing you can do try having sex with him more often you dont want to mess up is job by telling this girl hes a sex addict besides she could be turned on by that . telling him not to giver her a ride means hell find another ay he may allready be having an affair. i doubt he will leave you this is actually pretty common i suggest if hes bringing home the bread and you dont mind his infidelities just ignore it.
if he wants to cheat theres nothing you can do about it so dont worry your pretty little head just get checked for stds make sure he gets regular checkups.
also i suggest not bringing it up untill you get proof being acused of cheating when your not is so irritating it makes a man say fck it i might as well cheat my wife thinks i am any way.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): Of course you need to worry. He is obviously horny for this girl. What 50's something guy wouldn't want to bang a tight 20 year old vagina? If he is a sex addict, he will act on this. Its only a matter of time until the moment is right. You can't stop it. It will be her or some other younger woman.You either accept that he will stray from time to time, but return to you each night, or dump him. Make sure he has condoms or you will get something nasty.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): Here is a thought, tell the 21 year old that he is a sex addict and if she knows what is best for her, she will stay out of his car or being anywhere alone with him....she probably won't know for sure if you are joking or not, but it may creep her out enough for her to start turning him down for the free ride.
Having a "dirty joke" or two, is inappropriate work behavior between a man and a female coworker. I can see him giving her a ride if she has to walk in unsafe areas if she doesn't have a car or public transportation, but is that his responsibility? In light of his "problem", I think all is fair in how you choose to handle him and her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): all of a sudden your hubby tells you so much about this girl.....is it in the hope that he wants to clear his conscious, trying to tell you first before the other do.
your hb has been identified as a sex addict.......he kept his taxi driving job a secret. goes out of his way to drop off the 21 year old birdie. how long has he been playing taxt driver?
yes kindly tell him to stop and warn him if he continues then you have no option but to sever his testicles in the process. "there is nothing in it, there is nothing going on"he also said that he does not fancy her," too much of info all of a sudden. is this a guilty man?? i am guessing if nothing has happened yet, he is expecting some payment for the free ride? the question is, if you tell him to quit, will he and you never suspecting him playing taxi man before, so will he not get away with it as well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): You need to lay the boundaries down unfortunately. It's quite serious. At 21 she is an adult and quite capable of getting herself around. Isn't it horrible when women can't respect other women. At his age he should know better. You are a real victim of the pair of them. I feel sorry for you
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