A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm thinking of leaving my husband. We've been together for nearly 7 years and dated for 5 years before that, but I feel like my life revolves around him. My husband loves women, and the more attention he gives them, the less I feel about myself. Then, I get pissed off and drink. We have a gorgeous little boy whose 2 years old. I think about him growing up without his father and it breaks my heart, yet, I cannot stand his flirtatious behavior and all the women that flock around him. I need to leave him, but I can't. I feel like I don't have the strength. Although I've always prided myself in being independent, the truth is, I'm really not. Someone please help me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): I do not think it is as big an issue as it is in your mind. if he is faithful to you and does not have cheat on you, i am sure that you will not do any justice to you and him and 12 year of relationship by even thinking of leaving you. If he has one bad habbit, try to discuss or get used to it ( once you know he is not going any further than just a flirt some times ). Be happy. Otherwise you will mess you life even big time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): What example is your husband showing your son as he grows up to be a man himself? He is saying this is how you treat women - they are there to be used and abused, chatted up and disrespected. What breaks your heart now? the idea of staying like this? How is your life going to be in another 10 years time? Its time to get a grip on reality - he is not a decent husband to you and as a result this is not a healthy situation for your son. Move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): Your life shouldnt revolve around your husband. He doesnt sound as if he deserves so much attention. It will only serve to bolster his already inflated ego and make you even more unhappy. So try to worry less about him and more about yourself and your child. Drinking because you are unhappy is not the answer. I cant see how a mother, drinking to drown her sorrows is any better for a little child than an absent father. You need to 'grow a set' and start thinking about what is best for you and your son.
If your husbands flirting makes you feel you are only an option for him, while he is your priority. And that is making you feel unsafe and insecure. Then you have to clear your mind and stop thinking about him for a while. Seek a good lawyer and find out what your rights will be, should you wish to end the marriage. Start looking for work, even if its only a few hours a week. You need to get out of the house and earn your own money, however small the amount. It will give you purpose and restore some confidence in your ability to thrive without him. Then talk to him. Spell it out to him that if he continues with his unacceptable behaviour, you will have to end the marriage. Hopefully, when he sees you mean business, he will alter his ways. I hope things work out ok for you but they wont if you take no action. So be strong and forget the alcohol. You can do anything you want to do if you just have a little faith in yourself.
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A
female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (25 February 2011):
Good for you for making the decision that you want to leave the marriage, it's just a matter of taking the next step of actually doing it. Many women are so dependent that they won't even think about leaving no matter how miserable they are.
since you know you want to leave but you just need help in actually doing it - why not seek out support and help from friends and family? or, you can find a divorce support group (both online or in-person). it may help you to write down a list of steps, so you have a concrete plan to follow. Leaving a marriage can be logistically complicated which paralyzes people (this is on top of all the emotional turmoil)...Some times just seeing a plan of action written down can help to take away some of that paralysis. For this you should get a lawyer. good luck!
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A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (25 February 2011):
 "I get pissed off and drink." No one is worth that. Please talk to someone about your drinking and the state of your marriage. They will help you make a plan to leave. Make mental plans to take your "gorgeous little boy" and leave. Have both your son and yourself tested for std's. If the fear of death by disease isn't enough to scare you think of your son and and his life. Before he sees any more of the way his father treats you take the both of you out that door. My earliest childhood memories date back to when I was 2. I wish you and your son all the very best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): That's sad to hear about it but I know how you feel. Move on and don't see the past, remember the bad times instead that good ones, is the only thing that you can do.
He doesn't deserve you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): Seek out marriage counciling or just simply walk out of the marriage. This guy is clearly not a "one women kind of guy" therefore he has not grown up yet and at this point probably never will. It is time for the little boy to grow up into a man and put the pants on. For more info or encouragement visit: http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/trial/marriage-and-men or http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/trial/marriage-and-women Hope this helps:)
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