A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Little by little, my husband is not wanting to buy what our 10 week old daughter needs. It started with batteries for her swing, then wipes(he restricts how many I can use), then formula(he gets mad at her if she doesn't drink it all, and sometimes forces her to), and now diapers(he doesn't want her changed everytime she is wet). He also wasn't the one who bought the medicine she needed. He goes on about how poor we are, but has no problem dropping a hundred here, and a hundred there on himself. I am really starting to resent this man, and feeling my love for him shrinking. Luckily, I have relatives who can help, as I can't work right now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, C. Grant, my daughter's welfare definitely comes first. Yes, I am her protector, as my father was/is mine.
My husband has changed her diaper, but has never seen a rash cos I do my best to see that she doesn't get one. She is his first child, as well as mine. This is ironic, as he is always on about me needing to learn and grow up quickly; he is a bit older than I.
I had a talk with him again this evening about transport and childcare for a part time job. He said to wait. I do not know about that.
He worries me more, cos sometimes he seems to forget we have a baby; like when we get out of the car at the shops, or when he is loving on his cat. Some people say men have a difficult time caring about/relatng to their babies cos the babies are so little. That is rubbish; my father is excellent with her, and I know other great daddies of babies.
I am telling him this is not on. I will definitely choose my child if the Devil is in the driving seat.
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 He restricts the number of wipes???? Has he ever had to change a diaper? Has he ever seen diaper rash?
I can only assume that he feels that he's lost control, and this is he way of trying to get it back. I hope this is his first child, so that his ignorance is excusable as inexperience. He needs to do some learning, and some growing up very fast.
It's up to you to make it clear that that's not on. You are the child's protector. He needs to understand that, if it comes to a choice between him and the child's welfare, your child comes first.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGetting a job is not viable right now, as the relatives work full-time, and cannot mind her for me that often. Also, we live out of the reach of public transport, and have only 1 car. I have spoken to some people about working from home; I need to find something I can do without much training, that is not one of those scams.He does know my family will provide; then why be mean to her? Why mandate use limits on her resources?I am quite close to the point of leaving him, as I do believe he does resent the baby. I am going down cos his behaviour. She's my daughter, my baby, my little love; I cannot have her being abused. I do not obey his mandates when he isn't within viewing distance. We discussed things before pregnancy, and he said he would provide, now this. He was so good to me when I was having a difficult time in pregnancy. What HAPPENED?
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A
female
reader, cmarieky  +, writes (12 April 2012):
Look for a part time job and have relatives watch her while ur away. The money you make can solely be for the baby. His actions are abuse, forcing her to sit in soiled diapers and forcing her to finish her formula. Hopefully you do know if anything happens to her you will be charged with allowing this abuse to go on. Do not leave baby with him as u work. He is obviously unstable and resent the baby. He may even believe if it wasn't for the baby you two would have more. Talk with him if he doesn't change after your part time job then you should leave.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2012): thats a big reason why he does it...he knows family will help
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