A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my ex boyfriend broke up with me 4months back.Since then he has been avoiding me completely: doesnt answer my messages or calls. i heard from our friends that he got himself a new girlfriend only a few days after our break up. now it seems am unlucky enough to have him as my coworker as i had to join his place of work last week.i wish i could move to another work, but it seems impossible so soon. i am still not over him, and it hurts to see him having moved on so quickly and so happy with his new love while here i am still struggling to find some peace of mind..has anyone been through this? how did you deal with it.. please help!
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female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 Hi,
I am sorry about your recent break up. I have to agree with you that 4 mos is kind of soon for him to be in a new relationship. I know that is difficult to let go of someone you love, we can call him all kinds of bad names, but I know you don't chose whom to love and you cannot control your heart. Friend, here's the reality, and many say this but it's true, time will heal all your pain. What's important now is that unfortunately you have to work with him, you have no choice but work for the time being. You need to be strong, put up a brave face, put your feelings aside, and what's important now is that you need money to pay your bill. This is survival stage. You cannot show him weakness or that you still have feelings for him by no means whatsoever. Be strong, have confidence and most importantly be professional. You need to learn to be a great pretender to survive in this world. You don't need to treat him bad or good, make the minimum contact, "be professional". Try to look your best everyday. If braking up, him being in a new relationship wasn't bad enough, if you show him that you are sad, it will only give him pleasure, because ego is a big deal for man. On top of that, he'll see that you are weak, needy, and it will only make him realize that he did make the right decision.
I am sorry you are in pain now, but my advice is to accept that is over, don't think of him, he's not part of your life anymore. Doesn't matter if he's in a new relationship, happy, nothing matters anymore. Be kind to yourself, because it's normal to feel this way after a break up, so allow yourself to feel sadness, pain, cry if you need... Concentrate in your career, life, go out with friends... This is an opportunity for you to make a
better life. I am sure that soon enough you'll find someone that truly deserves you, you'll be happy, and realize that this phase in your life is nothing.
Good luck and best wishes
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