A
female
age
36-40,
*onelyGal85
writes:My husband and have been together 6 years, married for 5.We have 3 children. About 2 months ago I call him while he was out with his friends and instead of pushing end on the cell he push talk. I heard him getting it on with a girl while his 1 month was sick. He came home and told me all kinds of lies. I believed him until a few days later I found numbers in his wallet for two girls which I called them and they told me he was at one of there house that night. I had a break down to the point that ambulance had to be called. After the shock wore off I decided to investigate further in which I found 10 other girls numbers. I was in shock. Some were co-operative but others were arrogant and cursed me out when I asked about my husband. I heard(through a tape recorder i planted in his van) my hubby telling his friend at work that all the girls I called should have cussed me off. I also heard him talking on an unknown cell at work telling a woman if anyone calls for him tell them she doesn't know him and how he's at the police station. He used to have a cell phone until I said I was gonna hold it for a day then he grabbed it and threw out the car window from my hands. I also came to find the same place he got his prepaid phone, he went back there to a guy and told him to change the name and password so i would not be able to see the bill online. He told the stranger his business so the guy would help him. The other day the guy working there cussed me off because I told him I know what he did for my husband and my husband turned his back and walked away. He even hit me. When I found out at first that he changed the name I was furious. I called him at work and asked him about it. I hear all of the guys he's working with laughing at me. I then sped to his workplace and when I got there I found my husband about to leave with his friends. When I got there they were all making fun of me and I began to cuss them off. I, then approached my husband he took our van and he drove away leaving me at his workplace crying hysterically. He then went to bramalea city center and asked the same guy at the cell phone place how I found out and the guy told him he changed the password as soon as I started asking about the phone number(heard everything through cell phone spy). I want to know what he's hiding on that bill. Please tell me what you think...What should I do? I want to know the truth before I go. I dont want to jeopardize my children from not having there father around. He exhibited all the signs of a cheater for awhile and he still does. Pleaase tell me what I should do. I'm so very hurt. I have no family or friends. I dont know where to turn. He shows no remorse or anything. I feel he has another phone at work he calls them on.I just dont know...the suspense is killing me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): I took all my stuff yesterday at our home. I am going to fight to get the house for me and our kids. I financed 99% of the house with all the furniture. He brought the girl into our house, she was sleeping in my bed!!! He hit me on 06/03/2011 after asking about he's whereabouts the night before. Since Dec he acted strange, cursing me, punch me in the face occasionally. I warned him to leave but he apolozised and usually we always forgive them. I went to my parents, he asked me to come back. I said no not until he told me the truth about that night. 3 days ago I heard that the girl was staying at my house. I called him, he laughed at me and said she is better than me!! She is unemployed, and I think he's been cheating on me for a longtime with this girl. My salary are almost 3 times higher than his. I went to the court and got a protection order, than went to the police to escort me to get my furniture and all the household stuff!!! No cutlery,stove,chairs,pots and pans,tv,dvd,dstv,washing machine,bedding,etc. He has NOTHING in the house at this moment and it feels real good, because I feel in control. It's hard not to call him. I still do love him but I must really love myself more at this stage. I am proud, independant, strongminded and surely do not need such an idiot in my life!! We were engaged!!!! Your husband will never change, you're going to waste a lifetime for nothing. I truly believe that our Lord will send someone will be worth it being our partners. Be strong and pray, it really helps.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (31 March 2011):
 Your children don't need to have this kind of man around for a father.
He is a serial cheater. He humiliates you publicly and let his coworkers make fun of you. He HIT you !!
This marriage cannot be saved ; it's over. You do not need to know all the seedy details, all you need to do is to try and move on as fast as you can. I know it's easier said than done when you have no friends or family to support you, but you still have your kids. And you have YOURSELF. To whom you owe enough respect to stop this abuse.
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (31 March 2011):
You don't need any more information. You already know everything you need to know. You know that your husband is cheating on you, that he can't be trusted, that he is keeping all kinds of information, and that he has been abusive towards you by hitting you. He is also probably taking advantage of your situation, which is that you don't have any family or friends. This is a bad situation that you need to get out of. There are resources available for people who find themselves in your situation. You owe it to yourself to create a better life, with better relationships, and you owe it to your children to grow up in a safe environment with parents who can set the right example. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours  +, writes (31 March 2011):
 Girl, you are already hurt, and you should be.
You're wounded so why do you want to kill yourself with every detail of how he's hurt you. Sometimes, ignorance is just a little blissful. You know he's doing wrong, you know he's acting up and not interested in making things right with you, and you know he's just damaging you further. He's also damaging your kids with bad influence and inconsistency and that alone is all you really need to know.
Once you separate yourself from him, you will meet new people and find a strength in yourself that you didn't even know was there. You'll get out into the world and learn how to stand up for yourself and your kids, and learn how a woman is treated by a real man. But you really have to leave the bad behind and make good for your future.
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