A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am a married mom mid thirties. My husband and I have been together for 20 years, married for 13 years. We have 5 children together. We have had a wonderful marriage up until recent. Back in Feb 2015 my husband started to receive texts from a co-worker, who was a newlywed at the time, how sexy he was. He said it came out of nowhere and it made him feel good. I will back track a bit and give the information that my husband struggled with self-esteem issues his entire life. He is an extremely attractive man but was made fun of a lot as a child, parents separated at 6 years of age due to his father cheating and grew up with a lot of fighting and always felt alone. When we met in high school it was an instant feeling of this feels right. Not once did we ever break up. Not once in our entire relationship did I even ever see him look or check out another woman. He is the last person on earth I would ever think would have an affair. Fast forward to Feb 2015 and this woman texting him and little did he know what he was opening for himself. At first he said he didn't think she was hitting on him just being nice. The text started with his shirt was nice or he looked good and then one day it was I think your really sexy. My husband said its like he couldn't control how good it felt for someone to notice him and it made him feel good. He told himself it was ok for this woman to text him and he said he knew he would never cross the line because he didn't want to so he let the texts continue. He never complimented her back. The flirting and compliments only came from her and he would respond appreciate it or thanks, etc. She then started to ask him to take her out. He told me he couldn't or wouldn't take her out...he didn't want to. All he wanted were her compliments. He would pretend like he wanted to take her out and then would say oh something came up or he was busy maybe another night. She would say lets grab a drink, dinner, anything and my husband always said he was busy but maybe another night. Finally this woman called him out and said I get it your not going to take me out you can stop pretending you are. My husband told her that she was right he couldn't do that and she seemed to accept it. The next day she said she maybe couldn't get him to take her to dinner but she wanted him to sleep with her. My husband responded back that he couldn't do that he was married with a family and she was married and they could not do that. She continued her compliments. She would tell him how handsome he was. How she loved it when he wore shorts so she could look at his legs. How she wanted to suck his dick. How she wanted to f*ck him. All his responses were X I can't do that, I just can't. She continued and also continued to tell him how gorgeous he is and how attracted she was to him. He tells me he wasn't attracted to her and I believe him. She was pretty large, not fat but large and wide if that makes sense. Super white with red hair and freckles and a wide big nose. She is definitely not someone you go and try to pick up. But she was throwing herself at my husband and making him feel wonderful. In the mean time I was belittling him, going through postpartum depression and our marriage was not getting the attention it deserved. He wasn't being told how wonderful he was and mainly getting told he wasn't good enough. I take fault in that part. Anyways my husband for 5 months told this woman no over and over. We went through the texts and he said no to her over 300 times during that 5 month period. All of a my husband said the compliments started to die down and disappeared. My husband said he missed her saying how wonderful he was. Then about 2 weeks after her stopping she texted him and said I am looking at you know and I need you. I need you to meet me at a hotel for lunch and I want to f*ck you. You're gorgeous and I can't stop thinking about how bad I want you and what I want to do with you. My husband said he said to himself if you don't want this to go away (the compliments) you have to go do this. I know it sounded crazy to me too but he said it was the truth. He said he went to the hotel, they had a 7 minute quickie with a condom on, not one kiss, not one touch, literally just a quickie and nothing else. He got off her after, went into the bathroom and he said he immediately felt sick. He couldn't believe what he just did. He walked out the bathroom and she asked if they could get lunch. He said he was going the gym but then said he drove to a park, threw up and cried. He said he never felt so much guilt in his life but justified it because she was giving him compliments again. How hot he was, how good he looked, how gorgeous his eyes were. How his arms were so hot. Crazy compliments that would make anyones ego sore. My husband thought ok I did it and it worked she is complimenting men again. A week later she said they needed to meet again. He said he could never do that again. Still complimenting him up until mid October then she completely stopped. One week later said she missed texting him and to meet her today at lunch. My husband said well you did it once go do it again get it over with and she will give you what you want. At this point he didn't realize how manipulated she was and she had figured out that basically he wanted the compliments and she figured out if she took them away he would meet her. This cycle happened two more times. My husband said it was hard to have sex with her. She smelled to him and it just felt like wrong forbidden sex and every time after he would throw up. My husband ended up in the ER for what we thought was a heart attack but doctor said it was stress. He had a lot going on work wise and coaching 2 teams that I thought he had taken on too much. Our marriage had not been the same I thought it was due to the stress but didn't know why he was so stressed. Then one day he dropped to his knees, told me everything and said he couldn't lie to me. He felt so ashamed that he wanted compliments so bad that he would put so much in jeopardy for it. He didn't come clean to me until 4 months after it was over. In March 2016 he told her that he could no longer do this and that she needed to stop texting him. She then said they could be together which freaked my husband out because he couldn't' figure out how she didn't figure out he used her for her compliments. My husband told her to stop and she didn't. She tried two more times but my husband said it was like a fog lifted and saw white trash complimenting him and he couldn't believe how low he had become. It wasn't about sex...that part he hated. But he loved the attention and it made him sick that his selfishness for attention made him to things he never in a million years thought he would do. We have done counseling for almost a year now. Our marriage, I hate to say, has never been stronger but there is one thing were having a hard time moving on from. This woman, who persistently hit on him and knew what she was doing and knew he had 5 children and knew he really didn't want to cheat has gotten away with it all. My husband if very high up in the company they work at. She has since quit and she quit before I found out. She said that she found a job paying more. Oh when she was trying to talk him into leaving me she also told him this wasn't her first affair and that it gets easier and to still give it a chance. There is nothing wrong with some fun on the side. My husband told her no he was serious and then she gave her notice the next week apparently. Anyways, there is a good chance if this got out my husband could be fired. Were not certain but its possible. We have 5 kids and his job provides for all of us. This woman is married and has no remorse. I have had to see her post about her husband saying how much she loves him and he is the sexiest man in the world. She doesn't know I am her Facebook friend because I am someone else and its disgusting the things she posts. Its like she has a double life. We both feel so much guilt and want to tell her husband the psychopath he is married to yet two of her best friends work at our job and she happens to be Facebook friends with my husbands boss. She basically wants this all to disappear and she will never say anything. We are having a hard time letting her get away with it with no remorse, consequences or care. My husband and I have had to dig deep, go to counseling, counseling for our kids because they saw us hit rock bottom. My husband reminds me daily how lucky he is I stayed. He since got an iPad connected to all emails and texts. He has been a complete open book and truly has done everything to help this situation. We just can't get over this one hurdle of revenge or her getting hers as I like to say. And yes I believe in karma but only so much. I would love to think she does this again and gets caught but part of me wants to be that person that makes that happen yet I don't want any repercussions on my family. So thats my dilemma. Any suggestions? I appreciate you all hearing me out.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 June 2017):
 You need to let go off wanting revenge. It is not your place to tell her husband what she is like. People could be saying that about you also, that you deserve better. Honestly you say she was not attractive he just wanted the attention, what happens if some other woman begins to message him that is very attractive and wants him? That is a question you need to ask yourself. It is good you have both dealt with his cheating, and you got the help you needed. But honey if you where over this you would not be friends with her on social media and you would not be wanting revenge.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat am I in denial about? Lol. I think your crazy. I did not say my husband didn't like it. He liked every aspect of the attention and the compliments and who knows about the sex. I mean it's sex so what's not to like. I have seen pictures Of this woman and she is a pretty large unattractive woman so I'm not 100% not worried he thought she was hot anyone with eyes and can see knows she is not which made it easy to understand this was about attention. That was one of the things I couldn't understand was how he can choose to want attention from someone so unattractive. The therapist had to work hard to help me understand that this had nothing to do with her she was a shell...it could of been anyone...feeding his growing ego. We have worked out those issues lady and I'm very much not in denial what happened. We have worked hard and put a lot of blood, sweat and tears in therapy figuring out why he needed this attention so bad. I don't know why you think I'm in denial. My husband had an affair. He likes that this woman wanted him. Did he want to do it...no that's why I saw more than I can count texts of her begging for it and him saying he couldn't do that he's married. He let her continue to ask. He didn't want to block his number because he liked the attention that is what he wanted. So why on earth would he block his number for her. Look at the end of the day he ended it, told her why he was stopping, broke it off and that's that. I don't know why you would think I'm in denial when this happened a year ago and we have literally figured out why he wanted her compliments so bad. Why it intrigued him so much that another woman wanted to f#ck him so bad. I did blame my husband trust me. He made vows to me not her. It's not like I was like oh that's ok you hated her and didn't like her and fell into bed with her on accident. I KNOW WHAT HE DID PEOPLE. What I don't like is how I read about 80 texts of this woman asking him to fuck her and my husband saying no I don't want to do that and then her still asking. Did he tell her to stop no and yes he's in the wrong. But you honestly can sit there and think this woman did nothing wrong by hitting on a married man to begin with? I just think woman like this are bizarre. I mean I see attractive married men all the time does that make me want to text them telling them I want to fuck them? No I have self control. She brought it to him, our marriage was in a bad place because I was going through a lot, he would try to fuck me and I would tell him I was tired. I mean hell I prob would of wanted attention too old I were him. I have proof he tried to be strong for so long and yeah got weak eventually and gave in. It is what it is. My husband was to blame and I have chosen to forgive him. I just don't think it's right this woman had no consequences like my husband did and I thought her husband deserved to know. Like I said it seems like the consensus is to let it go which is what I am choosing to do. But honey you can't make me feel bad, I have come to peace with what my husband did. Maybe because your not me, maybe because you don't get to feel what we went through, but I went through a very long grief period where it was almost like my husband died so please don't say I'm in denial. I've dealt with more than I wanted to with my feelings and issues with the affair. You woman really like to tear a girl down its bizarre. But I will say this...I'm happy and maybe something like this happened to you and your not and that's why you like to say I'm bizarre but I'm happy and the only issue I had was letting her get away with it. Having the guilt of knowing her husband thinks she loves him when I know this is her 3rd affair. I feel bad for the dude. My husband feels bad for the guy. He feels she needs to be stopped. That's it but it's clear everyone seems to think he'll find out one day on his own so I've moved on. But thanks for your classy input
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2017): I find this absolutely crazy that you are blaming the woman.
Your husband chose to read these messages and go and have sex with her
So why blame her? If he didn't like her then he could have changed his number, blocked her or made a complaint of harassment but no instead he chose to sleep with her.
Ok if it was the other way round what would you have done? Gone and slept with someone that you say you don't like....yeah right!
I'm sorry but you are very much in denial.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone. I do feel better about the revenge aspect. Chances are if she's done this more than once she'll do it again and I'll let her marriage crumble on it's own or maybe she won't do it anymore. But I did take it to heart when @judgedick said he's carrying a cross daily. I don't want him to have to do that and he has. It's true, maybe part of me keeps this alive because I'm scared if we forget the pain then it can happen again. When this all came out I had a old college friend reach out to me. I actually made out with him a couple of times one weekend when my husband who was my boyfriend at the time we broke up for a weekend lol. Anyways he contacted me on Facebook telling me I still looked amazing blah blah. It definitely felt good to be noticed and he's extremely attractive but he was married! I thought to myself wow people really do this and now both my husband and I have been hit on by other married people. It made me feel sick for his wife. I had no urge to play around with this man and I felt horrible he wanted to. I told my husband all about it and of course he was paranoid for a while because he thought he did it so why wouldn't I get revenge or do it. I think the fact that my husband saw me not wanting to go be with him he saw I was truly still in love with him which I think a part of him is scared I don't. That has helped break the cross carrying down and hopefully one day in the future we both can wake up without the thought of it but for know it's still real and rawl and we take it day by day. I know we both love each other and are willing to do what it takes. I think by not thinking of her and letting that anger of her having no consequences will help a lot. Thanks everyone!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2017): I think I'll swing into the mix... Look sweetie, I have worked through maybe not as much as you went through but enough .. my husband went out to a work do and ended up not coming home but going into a party with a female colleague, they kissed and being honest when he wasn't home at his normal 3 am I panic I couldn't get him . His phone was off and I thought the worst ..for me I think that made me more angry the fact I worried all night phoning hospitals relations etc only for him to come home and confess . So I left . Granted we had no kids then . And I went back with my mother . We did reconcile. After 7 months apart . And I thought I had dealt with it . I guess I hadn't as years later I was working long hours and found out my colleague who was very good looking charming and very attentive I just thought he was friendly actually tried to kiss me .. I didn't .. but I want too . Then we started texting . Unlike your husband I was never intimate with him but I enjoyed the texting that feeling that I was desireable to someone else and yet I should have been happy but I did with my hubby figure out as I grew distant from him and he knew something was wrong so I told him . He went mental and left but came back and I got angry with him really angry I can remember shouting who the duck do you think you are look what you put me through . 4 months of wanting me and her, couldn't make your mind up . So I guess I see what the other aunts are saying here in a way and maybe hopefully my post of my situation may help ..I carried anger at her .. and I thought well it was more her than him as I was busy training and he was lonely .. but being honest he went on his own accord .. he did what he did and I hadn't dealt with that side .My advice is sweetie make sure you do deal with that side even if he is gueinely sorry and I don't doubt it .. so was mine and still is . This happened 24 years ago and we are still strong and going strong with a lovely 22 year old and a 9 and 5 year old . As in telling her husband . Telling someone the truth about something though a good thing as it brings the person into the know ;it is never a good idea . Even if he has an inkling he may not believe you - and what does it gain . Let her fall on her own face . Sooner or later her ship is gonna come in . You look out for your family .. honestly sweetie karma has a way of biting them in the bum .. I hope I helped some . Stay strong ..
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 June 2017):
 "We're Catholic"
Then talk to your priest about you and your husbands desire for revenge, and see if he approves from a religious and moral standpoint.
Revenge is evil. It will only cause your soul more pain and agony. To deliberately inflict pain on someone else because you feel they deserve it? Are you the judge, or is God? Im asking this, because if you truly are a religious woman, then you know that it is not for humans to judge, but for God to judge. He knows all. You don't.
What this woman does, if she is happy or not, fake marriage or not, it is none of your concern. She is not part of your marriage or your family. You may feel like you want revenge, because that is your human body and instincts who want to kill off potential threats. It's primal, really. It's what an animal would do.
You need to decide if you're going to act on primal instincts and lower yourself, or if you're going to be a human with dignity, and even more: if you're going to do what your religion and faith expects of you. I'm not even asking you to forgive this woman, but I am asking you to stop thinking that you or your husband have some right to get revenge. She did not do unto your husband or your marriage something your husband didn't want. For all you know, her own husband approves of it. Or she's mentally ill. Or what not. But she did not have more power over your husband and your marriage than what your husband gave her. Put this revenge-idea away, because it only makes you the loser.
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (8 June 2017):
 I wish I would take away your pain , but as you said in the start you and your husband are struggling andI hope you can find the way out , the more you ask for details on when how and why and the more he is telling you is ont realy helping as i would see it but you have 2 people that want to put it behind them and you are going to help , time is the best cure , every one is different , where i live many people are able to turn the blind eye but that is build into their culture , and , you can look on it from the point that if it does not brake you two it will make you stronger , every day it will get better if you work on it together , he looking as if it is killing him is not helping you , like as he is carring a cross , is reminding you of every detail ,if everyone is not going to work to put it behind you it will not happen
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't want to tell myself anything they are the facts that I saw proof of with my own two eyes. Look I get it, you sound like you had something similar happen but every situation is different. Was it hard to forgive him? Yes! Have I totally forgiven him I think so but haven't forgotten and it doesn't mean I don't have days that hurt more than others. It's been a year since he came to me. Didn't catch him, he came to me. Most of what I said is not making "excuses" it's what we worked through with a professional therapist. Our therapist says usually it takes about two years to really work through this so yes we still work at it and I'm thankful because if there is anything I see it is a man that doesn't want to lose me.The fact that you keep trying to get me to get upset about the affair is obnoxious to me. It's been a year of hard work, counseling and making peace with what's happened. Am I fully at peace with the fact he cheated no not yet and to be honest I don't know if I will ever be. I will say our marriage feels right our relationship feels right and the fact that we both want to stay and work through this is a fact. Our kids would be fine if we divorced. It's. It about the kids. In fact it probably would of been easier to do that! We chose the hard way but it was worth it. Like I said, the part that is hard for both my husband and me to make peace with is we had to fight so hard to save our marriage and she is in a fake marriage...not a happy one. We're Catholic and my husband has extreme guilt and goes to confession every Saturday. Now before you jump all over me for that I am just stating he was human and made the biggest mistake of his life. He shows remorse. He's done and does everything he can to make this right. She didn't and she didn't care what she did to her marriage so yeah o feel bad for her husband. What I'm getting is yeah it's not my place and their marriage for whatever reason she does this as this is not her first affair is what she told my husband had to fall on it's own? I just feel terrible for that man. To lay down next of her nightly and have no clue. I was that woman for 7 months and you feel stupid. Signs were there and I'm sure there were for him. Btw, our marriage is happy I would definitely not be here if it wasn't! If I didn't know any better also. I'm thankful my husband came to me! I'm thankful we can know the truth, survive it and work through it. Affairs aren't just about sex. It's about things that go way deeper and you obviously keep focusing on the sex part but I think I'll keep listening to the professionals and my husband who actually lived this and who I have known for 30 years. I just wanted to know if people thought we should tell her husband but it looks like everyone agrees to let her fail and fall on her own.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (8 June 2017):
 It's not going to help if you play everything in your head over and over again. I know you want the details and I know you want to hear everything. It's like not being able to look away from a gory accident on the road. But tell me, how is this really helping? Isn't it just making it all a thousand times worse?
Your way of coping with this is to forgive your husband because you want to believe that he's a good man who tripped. That he almost didn't give in to 432 invitations for sex and did it just 4 times and didn't enjoy it. You want to tell yourself that only a man who absolutely wants nothing to do with the other woman would behave in this manner because anyone else wouldn't have been able to contain himself in a similar situation.
You want to keep telling yourself that it was just a 7 minute quickie. That he's guilty as hell and is paying for it every minute. That he can't sleep without holding you.
You're constantly telling yourself this so that you can desperately try and claw back some normalcy and sanity back into your life.
Tell me something honestly and truthfully OP. Are you holding on to your marriage for the sake of the kids or is this really a way to not accept defeat? Because you don't want that woman to win? Because you hate the fact that she's seemingly happy in her marriage and you desperately want to feel the same way? Because you don't want to give her the satisfaction of having broken you and your marriage?
Please ask yourself these questions? and answer truthfully. You don't know us and we don't know you so this is one place where you can bare your heart without any judgement.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do understand what you are saying and I guess it is my fault for not putting in my first post that we have been through hell and back. Trust me when I say my husband did not get away with anything. I see his remorse daily. I see how he has aged since this has happened. I have seen him stand ashamed in front of our family and friends admitting to what he did and crying and answering tough questions. There is no manipulation here. Hell if I were him I probably would of left months ago. He pays daily for what he did just when he looks at me. I feel it. You can't fake that. It wouldget old. He won't even let me sleep without him holding me. He has anxiety attacks at night thinking I might leave him one day. He's scared I might do the same to him in return. So trust me this has not been a oh you cheated but it's all her fault. I know it was his fault and he is the one that deceived me and he does pay for the daily. But there is a part of me that believes that woman like this need to be stopped. Woman who go after married men Need to now it's not ok. I know 100% my husband would of never seeked out an affair. This fell in his lap and did he let it happen absolutely and that has been hard for me but she also was relentless. My husband knew I needed the entire story and was able to get their texts through iCloud. Trust me. She was relentless. I counted 432 times she asked to f^^k him and on very naughty ways. He gave in 4 times. The four times were spaced 2 or 3 months apart. I guess that's why I buy the compliments story because I did fee if he truly liked it he would of gone back way more. I mean why didn't he? I would of never knows. To only give in 4 times out of 432 times? I also read a text asking to give him a blow job. He responded none of that. She said why won't you kiss me and he said none of that. She asked him to finger bang her he said sorry he couldn't. The only thing he could do was put a condom on and he said it was a 7 minute quickie. He would not touch her except her waist and stare past her at the headboard. I did read a text that said I wish you would look at me while we f^^k I think that's hot. He didn't respond. I also think it's odd but she would keep texting if the sex was good and wished he seemed like he enjoyed it. She wanted to hear him scream. I asked what she meant by that he said when he would finish he wouldn't say or do anything and just get off. He says he's not lying when he says it was boring awkward sex and the texts sort of back that up. But trust me I am no fool and have been through the timeline numerous times. 5 months of texting then gave in to her request month 5 and went back 3 more times over the course of 7 months. I just don't know how that seems like he enjoyed it but then again maybe I'm just dumb. I just wanted someHelp on how to feel not so angry that she got away with everything and can enjoy her marriage and my husband and I have had to fight like hell for ours. I guess I should of let it to myself because I actually feel worse now.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 June 2017):
 You wrote: "My husband said he said to himself if you don't want this to go away (the compliments) you have to go do this. I know it sounded crazy to me too but he said it was the truth." He had sex numerous times with her just so she would compliment him. The reason this sounds crazy to you is because it IS crazy. And the "fact" that he got physically sick having sex makes it very hard to believe he had to force himself to do her numerous times just for a few cheap compliments. Do you really buy that story? I am glad you decided to work on your marriage but please make sure you are going into it with your eyes wide open.
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A
male
reader, judgedick +, writes (7 June 2017):
best thing you could do is unfriend her on facebook , and try to get back to just the 2 of you , what she did was not right keep the record of her pm to your husband just in case she ever goes to use this against your husband , he made some mistakes but no one can always be right ,
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (7 June 2017):
Look. Your focus on this woman is really only you trying to excuse your husband. But it's not this womans fault that your husband cheated. No really, it isn't! You say over and over how ugly this woman is, white trash, she used your husband, he threw up etc etc and now that she "gets away with it". No SHE doesn't get away with it, aparently your HUSBAND GETS AWAY WITH IT. Im not saying you shouldn't work through it with him, but for goodness sakes put responsibility where it belongs.
If your husband felt she didn't take no for an answer, he could have TOLD YOU he was being harrassed. Did he? NO. He enjoyed it too much. But you still insist on this woman being at fault for him continuing contact with her. He could have EASILY blocked her number. He didn't.
You need to stop thinking that this is about the woman. You need to stop saying she was ugly and what not. This isn't about her! It's about your husband being unable to prioritize his marriage above some compliments. It's about how you failed to show appreciation for him. It's about how he needs to stop acting like he's a child, and grow up. He can't blame his childhood for all things crappy in his life, or for his bad decisions. He didn't sleep with her once, he did it several times, and this continued for so long also. He knew it was wrong all along, but suddenly he's got some "tragic" childhood that excuses his cheating?
Continue with the therapy. I think you and him can salvage this marriage. But you blaming that other woman and putting ANY fault on her, that's evidence that you're not ready yet to forgive your husband. It's so much easier to live with the fact that he cheated on you, if you can pretend that he was some helpless victim and being manipulated and blame his poor childhood or low self esteem or whatever excuse you use. It's easier. That's why you do it. But it doesn't help you squat and it wont make the ugly truth go away: your husband did this to you out of his own free will. That other woman being ugly, what does it matter? Stop making her out to be the big bad wolf. The world is full of selfish people who will try to exploit others, and I am sure the world is full of women who would like to sleep with your husband, or with you for that sake. Does that mean that you should blame all women, or all other men, if you are unable to say no?
The responsibility for his actions lay solely on him. If you can't accept that, and forgive him, then you still have some work to do. The problem is not how to accept that this woman "gets away with it". The problem is how to accept that your husband is solely responsible for his actions. It's just so much easier to blame her, than to hold your husband responsible for all the crappy feelings you have to endure.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (7 June 2017):
 But YOU have won! Not her! She didn't get what she wanted - your husband. He CHOSE to stay with you because he loves YOU. Despite putting in so much effort, SHE lost.
I can understand your anger at her because I feel it just reading your post. She sounds a sad individual with no self esteem or sense of self worth. It is not her husband's fault. Making him miserable will not make you forget what happened. Chances are she will carry on with this despicable immoral behaviour and, sooner or later, her husband will find out. Don't be the ones to hurt him. You are better than that.
You two have rebuilt your marriage. You have your relationship and your lovely children to think about, not this horrendous woman.
There is, however, a lesson to be learned and that is that relationships do not look after themselves. If you had been looking after your husband's emotional needs, she would not have had the pull she did.
Thank your lucky stars you have such a wonderful husband and leave that wretched woman to screw up her own life.
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