A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i went away for a few days to my parents with the baby.My husband went out every night and behaved liked a bachelor-no problem with that .we talked each day and he said he missed us so much.I came back early and he said he was spending the night with me then his mate rang and asked him to go out-I was dropped like a bad rash (again).If given another option he will go out be it for a social night,darts or poker-at least three nights a week even if we have planned to have a night together-i think its total disresspect and shows he dosent have any love for me. We have talked and fought about this over an over but he can never put me,my feelings or needs first.What can i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): i don't know. I'm having the same problem with my husband. i think i've seen him maybe twice in the last 10 days. he comes home late at night - i trust him, but i feel like a pushover - we have been dealing with this issue for a year now. he sometimes stays home when i actually tell him or show that i am upset, but then i feel bad about myself in that i had to 'force' him to stay home with me.
A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (15 May 2008):
 Men like hanging out with men, it's a fact that will always remain... we can talk about cars, video games, hot women, go see strippers, drink til we're blind, etc... just things that you cannot do with a wife. I mean, you couldn't turn to your wife and say "wow check out the ass on her" when a beautiful woman walked by, but you might have the impulse- being with men allows us to be completely open and free and express parts of ourselves that are repressed around our women-folk. It's a nice sort of relaxing feeling. You guys have a baby and are married so he needs to be able to have his juvenile fun now more than ever. He's probably stressed from dealing with "reality".
Just give it a rest, let him get it out of his system. Go hang out with some lady friends of your own.
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A
female
reader, LIERIN  +, writes (15 May 2008):
 I would kick his ass and go party with my gals while leaving him home .. hehe !!! whopa!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): He probably knows that you will always be there waiting for him when he gets home and dosent feel he has to try too hard anymore.On the other hand, friends tend not to stick around forever.I'm sure he loves you, he just wants the best of both worlds. At three times a week, I think it is a little excessive but I'm not married so cant really tell you whats wrong and right.I usually dont recommeend 'revenge' as such, but have you done the same to him? Does he know how it feels? It could be a last resort if he wont listen to what you have to say.xxx
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (15 May 2008):
 Hi,
i feel sorry for you. I always wonder why guys like this get married in the first place. The obviously prefer the company of thier mates to the company of the person they supposedly love.
It is such a common problem and you are like millions of other woman. In days past it was socially acceptable and in most cultures today it is still the norm for women to be homemakers and child rearers and the fathers to whoop it up with their buddies in the local pub/bar/taverna etc.
I don't really know what to suggest, chances are his mates are all the same and they all go on about the little woman at home or the whinging missus while they are out together.
Put your foot down, but be prepared he will probably sulk and moan and ignore you at best . So you will need to make some very hard decisions soon. A life with a husband who has little interest in you, or a life without him.
good luck.
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