A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband has an ex that he worshipped. Even though we've been married for years, I still feel threatened by her. I found her profile on myspace. Why would I want to contact her and should I?
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (23 February 2007):
 How are things going in your marriage? Do you have any problems? Is he still loving and attentive towards you? Are you still intimate regularly? If he's a loving husband and doesn't seem distant then you have nothing to worry about. I still have ex's on my computer and I've said hello from time to time but I'm totally committed to my partner and would never even think of meeting up with any of them.
I wouldn't even think of getting in touch with her, you'll only make a fool of yourself and come across as the jealous wife. Dump your insecurities and trust him more... unless you have proof that there's more to this than meets the eye.
Eve
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007): I need to understand one thing-why have you tolerated this BS for so long, hun? Marriage is all about mutual love, loyalty and devotion to each other. He should be worshiping you-not her! It really sounds like he either has a lot of unresolved emotional issues with this ex of his or he lacks in another area within your marriage and that is his blatant lack of respect for you! This is a problem with both of you, it's not her problem, so do not contact her. You have no control over how your husband thinks and behaves. You only have control over what you do and what you will put up with. Have you talked this over with him and told him how much it hurts? If so, then it's up to him to take action and do something, final about this. She is a threat to your marriage and you would not be out of line to ask him to just end it with her, if he's still friends with her. You need to find your personal courage, your confidence, your strength and start setting boundaries in your relationship and let him know, you will not ever stand to be second best. If your husband disagrees with your tough stance, then I would question 'why' he doesn't want to extricate her, emotionally from his life. This could be very 'telling' behaviors on his part. He has a huge problem and that is his lack of commitment and love for you. If you want this marriage to work, then stand up for yourself. He may not like it, but you may just gain the respect you so richly deserve here. Don't lie down and take this. You deserve the best and you should have a husband who loves and worships you...plain and simple. Good luck dear.
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (22 February 2007):
 Could you give a little more info like is he still all drugged up on his ex?
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A
female
reader, luvme247 +, writes (22 February 2007):
 Is there any reason for you to be having these feelings now after being married for so many years? I am trying to understand why you are thinking about his ex now. Does he still keep in contact with her or something? Do you feel he may be cheating? It sounds as though you are jealous of her, but there should be no reason to if this is just an old relationship that he had before you. It is over I am assuming, or he wouldn't be married to you. Contacting her would definately not be a good idea.
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