A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My housemate (lodger) has recently starting dating someone from a foreign organised crime background and they are staying over this weekend in my home. My housemate met this person on holiday 5 weeks ago and has been seeing this person every weekend since even though he lives in another country in Europe. To be honest I think she likes him mostly for the gifts he buys for her and the constant affection and surprise trips to London. All she talks about is how much she loves him and what he's bought for her etc.I learned of this man's shady career when my housemate told me about it during week 3 of them knowing each other. What perplexes me is that she is not phased by the idea of it at all and that she has invited him to stay in MY house (she is my lodger). I feel awkward about saying no to this mainly because it would cause tension between my housemate and me and also because I am intimidated by this man who I haven't met yet, nor would I have the confidence, nor hard evidence to report this. She seemed like a wonderful girl when I let her lease my spare room, but now she's affiliated with someone who commits very illegal activity I don't know what think of her.What do I do this saturday when he comes over? My partner would still be on holiday and my close friends are all away for Easter. I would be in the house on my own with this man and my housemate.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2017): It's your house, set the rules and say that you are not comfortable with an unknown person with such a shady background in YOUR home. If she wants to see him then she goes elsewhere and if she wants to regularly have him to stay with her then give her the notice required in your contract between the both of you, because she'll need to be somewhere else if she wants that to happen.While lodgers are entitled to their life, you as a landlord need clear rules. So before someone even moves in you should be setting down the rules about house guests, perhaps 1 family member/friend can stay for 1 night but any longer is at your discretion; that if they take a single occupancy room then it remains that for the duration and can't move partners in. They are paying to have a space they can call home but ultimately it's your house to look after and feel safe in. Your tenant, knowing the past of this person, is pretty stupid to continue a relationship. Also, you don't want to become associated with a criminal and should police ever look for him, and they find him at your house - you and your home would be linked to him...so step up and assert yourself. Any concerns that this person is actively involved in crime you should call 101 as it'll go to your local police force and you can pass on information to them to add to their intelligence database. If you do end up with them in your home and at any point feel unsafe or things took a bad turn then call 999.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2017): If you rent your home to people, you have to have the courage to regulate who comes and goes out of your property. You shouldn't take on housemates if you're too timid to set and enforce your house-rules.
Case in point; you have a suspected-criminal staying in your house, and you're afraid to say anything about it. You roommate has taken over your home.
Either tell her the guy is not allowed in your house, suggest that she move out; or be quite and let him stay.
Establish your house-rules before you allow someone to sign the lease and move in.
Verbally request that your female borders inform you before inviting male guests to stay overnight. They are not allowed to stay unless the border is there; nor any longer than overnight without consulting with you first. If ignored, invite a male friend or relative over and ask him to leave.
Call the police if you get any pushback.
It's not too late.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (13 April 2017):
 Do not allow yourself to be intimidated by this situation. It is your home and your rules. I don't blame you one bit for not wanting that man in your home! Tell her politely but firmly that you do not allow your lodgers to have guests. That's all that needs to be said. As another aunt pointed out, if this guy has so much money, there's not reason for them to be staying at your home.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 April 2017):
 You need to stand your ground and protect yourself. This is your house. If you are close to her then tell her how uncomfortable it makes you and if you are not so close tell her sorry but no guests. If he has so much money he can treat her to a hotel.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (13 April 2017):
 Either tell her that she may not invite this person into your house or give her notice to quit. It can be difficult to be tough about these things, but sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns.
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