A
female
age
41-50,
*tellaBaby83
writes:Hey Everyone, Just got a small problem and I'll appreciate anyone's advice on the matter, if you can spare a moment or two.My housemate has recently got a boyfriend and even though he's a great guy and I enjoy his company around the house it's got to the stage when he's always there and they've got overly gross with the snogging and passioning and feeling in public and in front of anyone in the house. I find this really uncomfortable and end up staying in my room so I don't have to see this. I don't want to say anything to her because I'm really happy for her. He's a nice guy and treats her really well. I don't want to be a burden.I'm not sure if I should just move out. We've lived there a while now and we've just resigned our lease for another six months but I'm not too sure how much more of this I can take. I just find this so awkward when they around the house acting this way. I know its my problem that its bothering me but I was wondering if anyone had any tips on how I could deal with this....or should I just move out? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (26 March 2007):
 Well you both have rights in this house as flatmates so compromise is the key. You shouldn't have to watch them sucking face but neither should they have to be careful about what they do in her own house (within reason) I'd just be honest(ish) with her. If that isn't an option maybe you could say something like it makes you feel sad when you see them together because you're not with someone and would they mind limiting the physical contact when you're around? It might work. If it doesn't compromise is the key. You speak to her about it and she tries to limit it and you try to not notice when that fails.
CD
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2007): Tell her that you have spent a long time worrying about how to say so without causing offence, but you would prefer not to be around when they are being intimate because you find it, understandably, embarrassing. They are so focussed on each other (which in one way is lovely) that what ought to be sacrosanct and behind closed doors is on full display. I think you should say that you have wondered whether you should leave and perhaps he would like to take over the tenancy? Make the conversation open and honest. Just tell her that you feel she now has the kind of relationship which should be carried out in private. If she does not want him to move in, you will have to ask her to tone down. There may be some compromise available such as times when they can be alone together in the living room. They could go to her room to give you some time alone as well. It is all about courtesy and consideration and it is nice that you are happy for her despite it. I have been through this phase myself and my friend moved out. My partner and I were not touchy, feely, but it was obvious that the home had become the domain of a couple and she felt like a cuckoo. We did have a bit of an argument, but it did not last, it was fleeting whilst we all readjusted. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Dos_Vinci  +, writes (26 March 2007):
 Moving out could work. You could talk to her. You have every right to make yourself a snack without seeing them sucking each others face off. I'm sure you're getting tired of him always being there. It's not his place, it's yours. He may have no problem with letting you see him in his skimpies but I'm sure you don't want him to see you when you wake up in the morning or before going to bed. Ask her to take it to her room. That's where that stuff was invented.. and where it should stay(unless no one's around). I don't think you should move out. Fight for your right.. Maybe she should move out.
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