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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I met a really lovely guy on holiday. He pursued me, and I was completely swept off my feet. At first I never really thought it would be anything more than a holiday romance, but when we returned home we spoke on the phone every day, and have met up three times. Each time has been incredible, and our feelings have grown stronger. However, we live 3 hours apart and he began to express concerns that he doesn't know where it was going to go. At this stage obviously neither of us are in a position to move, and he thinks that the more attached we become the harder it will get. So we have agreed to cool things and try and get on with our separate lives, although we still keep in touch occasionally. The thing is, I am finding it so difficult. I want to be with him more than anything else in the world, although I can see what he is trying to do is logical. I am also confused because he has suddenly become so distant, I think he is trying to protect himself, I am almost certain he is afraid of his feelings and this is part of the problem, not just the distance. What do I do?? I would really appreciate advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (5 September 2005):
This is a really hard one, you are feeling loss and dissapointment. As you know no amount of distance can alter your feelings for someone. No amount of logical thinking can make you forget the one you love. Because you seem to like this guy a lot the best thing for you to do is to let it go for now. Don't forget about him just make your mind up not to contact him. Let him lead if there is any leading to be done. If he has strong feelings for you eventually they will become unbearable and he will contact you again. send him a nice goodbye, closure note and just leave it at that. You can still think about him but you will be showing him that you are mature enough to accept his point of veiw and that you are a cool woman.
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