A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:MY husband and I have been together for 8 years and married for almost 4. We have a 3 year old and I am 4 months pregnant. We have had a bump relationship for a while. He got into drugs and cheated on me. I turned to his parents for help telling them about his drug problem and since then he has resented me and things have went down hill from there and that was over two year ago. He says he will never be able to forgive me for telling them, that I broke the bond between him and his family and it will never be fixed. I was just looking for help so that I could get my old husband back though. I have talked with his family and they want him in there lives but he is to ashamed to face them he says. Personaly he has not changed his behavoir with the drugs and girls. He also says that if I could not snoop or complaine and just let things be than maybe we would have a chance. Now he says there is no chance. I found out about another women again just the other day. That makes him so mad when I snoop and find things. I don't know what to do. I want my marriage to work so bad. We had a good love at one time but we grew apart when I got pregnant and had to grow up. That's when he started hanging out with different people and the cheating started. He told me if I would have payed more attention to him then things might not be the way they are now. Sorry I am jumping around a lot but just trying to fit a lot in with a little writing. So basicaly he says to much has went wrong to fix us and that its over. I don't know what to do. I miss the old us and want his love. But, I can't give him the things he wants from me unless I can know he is done with the other women and drugs. Should I just let him go? My heart says no fight for him. Because he is so good at making me feel like this is almost all my fault. Help me please. There is still a lot me to the story but this is the bulk please help I don't know what to do. Sincerly Missing the love
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): im going threw kind of the same thing you r! but im onlyy 16. i am a teen mother. and i have been wit my boyfriend for over 2 years. he is my first to everything! i do love him .. i no ppls would call this young love but i dont. i never cheat, or even talk to other guys. im a good girlfriend to him and a good friend and mother as well. but he cheats on me.. he told me since the whole time we been together he has been cheating . even win i was pregnant wit our son, he was coming home to me from being wit a different girl.. so i would snoop and look around to c who he is with and wat he is doin. and win i find out something new.. he yells at me and blames me :(. i no its not my falut and i no im young and i can find saomeone WAY BETTER and that is willing to love me the right way :) .. but sorry my story is all jummpy around but we just re -startd 041110. its bout to b one whole month wit out him cheating and doing anything bad and stays he knows he wants to b wit me and he knows hes messd up and to get give us one last time. so i am likE FINALLY.. but i feel like its to late.. so right now im like 2 seconds away to leaving him FOR GOOOD!!!!! but i love him and he is the father to my son.. but anyways .. i think you should do wat ever makes you happy. you need someone thats willing to love u and not do you wrongg.. if he says move on then its best you do that.. cus at the end its gonna hurt you more at the end then you will ever no? its really all up to you! i hope you the best with your husband and your family :)
love,
young teenage mother A. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): Your husband is playing reverse pys. with you. What the hell is he upset about? What does he mean he can't "forgive" you for trying to save your marriage thus you sought out help from his parents? Give me a break please!!! This guy is wrong as mixing oil and water and instead of him being humbled and asking for forgivness, he takes the low road (in his mind it's the high road) and blame you for everything. He cheated, he lied, he got addicted to drugs...HE made those choices for whatever the reason may have been. Your husband knows that you are in love with him and want to work things out with him, thus he is going to continue to use your life as a revolving door so long as you allow him. He will leave you and come back when it is benefical to him and if the other woman had any common sense, she wouldn't dare get involved with a drug addict and known cheater--what makes her think that he is going to fall in love with her and be faithful to her? NOT! She is going to exp. the same hurt and pain you are right now if she continues this relationship with him. Some people just aren't meant to be in relationships for whatever the reasons maybe and that is why it's so important to really take time to get to know someone before getting in a relationship with them and starting a family because, the children are the ones who really suffer when it's all said and done. There is no use in telling you to leave your husband because, I don't think you are really serious about it...you are in love with him and it's hard to leave someone that you really, really love. Somewhere inside of yourself, you want him to change, you believe he will change, you hope he will change...maybe, maybe not, but whatever you decide to do just know that you must live with the outcome whether it's good or bad. There are three possibilities here...1. You leave him. 2. You stay and wait on him and he changes years down the road. 3. You stay with him and he never changes, but gets worse. The choice is yours...I don't know if you believe in God, but maybe you should start praying and fasting and seeking advice from above. Sometimes we get involved with the right person, but at the wrong time and visa versa. You are with child thus, you shouldn't be stressed out because, you don't want to have a difficult preg. Try taking it easy...but I understand how you feel.....I know how it feels to be in love.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 May 2010):
It's not your job to be fighting for a drug taking cheat. He should be fighting for you. He's proved nothing, other than he's still involved with this other woman and he's still on drugs. There is no going back to the 'old you', because the the truth is this is the man he is. He is a liar and a cheat. You're the one who deserves better. You're the one who needs to get away. You're the one who has been used and abused. not him. He's been busy playing away. Get away from him. He's poison and your children deserve so much better.
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