A
female
age
41-50,
*hjones97
writes:Well my situation is very very complicated. I met my true love when I was 16 and we had a child when I was 19. He was 22 at the time and was not ready to settle down so we split and went our seperate ways. I always wanted things to work out between us but decided to let him go and was hoping that if it was meant to be he would come back. That was 10 yrs ago.In the meantime I met a nice guy that I eventually married because I got pregnant with his baby, and didn't want to have another child without being married. Although I cared about him I was not in love with him but I married him anyway. A month after we got married I lost that baby from a miscarriage. I decided to go ahead and try to make it work since I married him and my daughter was crazy about him. Since then we had another child who is now 4, we have been together 10 years married 6. I still have deep feelings for him but things have changed so much in our relationship. He doesn't like to do anything with me as a couple, he is not involved in the girls life as far as school or anything else, he won't go to church with me! NOTHING but he does love to have sex, he wants it every nite and if I refuse he is pissed. I do it just to keep peace and feel like crying afterwards I am just not into it. This has been goin on 4 about 4 yrs.3 years ago my oldest child's father and I started having an affair, he is still single and I am very much in love with him in every way still no change at all in my feelings. When I am with him I feel like that is where I am suppose to be. Good conversation as well as sex. He has grown a lot and has turned out to be a good person. But I am still married and don't want to be looked at negatively from my family. But I am completely confused on what I should do. My heart is with my ex and always has been but I am wearing this man's ring and he has been with me since my oldest daughter was 15 months old. Please give me some mature advice on what I should do. Thanks
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female
reader, shjones97 +, writes (23 January 2009):
shjones97 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust wanted to say thanks to all that responded and I have been a fool.....I am just going to pray and try my hardest to make things work at home! thanks again
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): He hasn't 'grown up' if he's sleeping with another mans wife. You must be in denial. This double life will make you miserable. You need to make a choice, it's not fair to your children, husband, and yourself.
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A
female
reader, onedayatatime  +, writes (20 January 2009):
What kind of person are you. You say you are having an affair with your first child's father. This creep walked out on both of you. You are a masochist, he is using you again with no real attachment, it suits him to use you. I bet you anything if you told your husband and left him, this guy would run and not look back.You are also looking for excuses to run your husband down, picking on all his faults to justify your own guilt and selfish behaviour. Your actions will eventually hurt your children especially the oldest one. Does she know the affair is her dad? Does he act like a dad? Your husband took on this child and has treated both of you well through the years. Take a look at how you are behaving. You cheat, you lie, you deceive everyone around you, you make love to a man you say you can't stand then you go and make love to another man who uses you too. I am so sorry to be harsh but I would say you are getting what you deserve. I really hope that your husband has the same feelings for you deep down so that he does not experience the hurt of infidelity when he finds out.I also hope that your children will be able to forgive you for breaking up their security when you do this too.Finally i hope your ex is man enough to take on the responsibility for a divorcee because this will cost him a lot both emotionally and financially.
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A
female
reader, PunkyPippi +, writes (20 January 2009):
 I'm sorry, but I think what you are doing is wrong. There is no good excuse for an affair. You should stop immediately and work things out with your husband or else get a divorce.
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A
male
reader, django  +, writes (20 January 2009):
Get a divorce. Get with the other guy. Easy. Just do it, rather than mulling about for more years.Ideally don't have sex when you don't want to, but then again you somewhat deserve the pain in the an eye for an eye sense, seeing how you cheat on him.On a side note, isn't going to church quite a farce if you engage in regular adultery?
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